A Different Kind Of "Special"

When I was younger and daydreamed about my future, it didn't look ANYTHING like my future has turned out.  I always believed I would have kids, but was never really a "kid person", so the fact that I was blessed with five little humans is a really big deal.

I also had a heart for special needs children.  My cousin with Down's Syndrome has always been one of the most precious creations to me and I could totally see God entrusting me with a child with some sort of special need.

But in my daydreams and thoughts of the future I always envisioned a little girl who was blind, a boy who couldn't hear, or having a child with some other "typical" type of special need that I had been accustomed to seeing.

Well, here I am.  The mother of 5 children, and if that isn't a miracle in and of itself, God created one of them with some pretty major "special needs".

But they aren't the ones I ever envisioned walking through with one of my children.
I never even considered these things to equal a "special needs" child.

My son may look normal and appear to be a typical 9-year old, so to an on-looker he just seems like an unruly kid who has parents that simply can't get him under control.

But under that stubborn personality is fear.
Beneath that fight for control is inner chaos.

He is extremely sensitive to emotions, peoples feelings, his surroundings, noises, senses, spiritual warfare...you name it, he is sensitive toward it (or so it seems).
He is obsessive about who has touched or breathed on his food.
He has sensory issues, OCD tendencies, ADHD, processing and other disorders...

I am here to encourage other moms who have children like mine.

You aren't alone.

I know you are exhausted because you can't let your guard down, even for a second, because you have to be prepared for the next "episode".  You know from experience that it can typically come without triggers or warnings, and you have to be ready.  Always ready.

I know you feel like you have missed something, second guessing all of your parenting techniques and strategies.

I know you get the constant looks and words of advice on how to handle your kid when in public.

I know it effects your entire family.  Finding someone who can watch him AND the others just for you to go to small group or even on a date is difficult.

I know the tendency to compare this child to others.

I know that you wish there was some kind of magic regiment that made all these "special" things just disappear.

But I also know that God doesn't make mistakes.  He makes us in His image.
Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

And I believe the things that make my Zeke "special" are the things that God is going to use in the biggest way!  It is out of Zeke's control.  It is completely out of my control (no matter how hard I try to "fix" it).  Medication/vitamins/ diet can only go so far.

But God.

God is His loving Heavenly Father, with a bigger plan for my special boy than I will ever be able to imagine.

So believe that God can use the "special" parts.
Pray audaciously for God to make it beautiful.
And then ask Him to show you how to jump on board with His plan as you help guide your child through this rough terrain.

Today I am thankful that He makes beautiful things out of our weaknesses.

Oh, That Kid With The Cape? ~ a Zeke schooling update

I just got back from a conference with all of Zeke's classroom teachers, principals and special resources teachers.

They kept talking about this little boy.

They were remembering when he began at the school just one year ago.
He had to be wrestled out of bed, then wrestled to the breakfast table, then wrestled out of the car, then wrestled down the hallway to his classroom, then fought anxiety with every single transition throughout the day.
He was timid.
He was shy.
He was fearful.
He didn't know his letters.
He couldn't even count to 10.
Writing his name was even difficult for him.

But now...
...now he's the boy who is a joy to be around.
They can't get him to stop telling his cute stories.
He can determine what mood everyone in the room is in upon entering because of his sensitivity.
He has tons of friends.
He LOVES science and is beginning to read.
He can count to 100 by 5's AND 10's.
He still writes backwards and upside down, but he doesn't do it without a fight to get it right.

This boy is known for,
playing hard
wearing a cape on the playground every day (we still aren't sure where he hides that thing throughout the day and this is my first time hearing about the caped boy at school)
wearing his coat for security
guzzling water from his water bottle all day
He is known for laying hands on his friends and praying for them if they are sad in class or get hurt on the playground.
telling stories to avoid doing work
putting his hood on so he doesn't have to read
slinking down in his chair so that the only thing his teacher can see is his head
doing work with his feet in the air and twisting around his chair in circles

If anyone at the school refers to "the kid with the cape" his teacher's know, "Yeah, that's Zeke".

Oh, you wanna know who that boy with the cape is?
Yup, that's MY boy!

The Dreaded Removal Of Gluten Products

I've known for a while that we were going to eventually have to go this route for Zeke, but man was I procrastinating!  I just want to eat normal food without having to think about what is in it and the effects it is going to have on us.

But alas, the time has come.

We are diving in, head-first, into the gluten-free land of taste-free food. Meh.

We did a thermal scan on Zeke's spine, since he has been showing significant signs of ADHD and are not ready to even entertain the medication approach, and it very clearly showed signs of gut irritation from food allergies.  (Which might explain his record breaking snot bubbles!)  His special resources teacher told me that she is pretty sure he'll make it through 1st grade without medication, but was very doubtful about getting him completely through elementary school without some form of "help".

And if that weren't already enough, he has a little brother plagued with skin and sinus issues as well!

We are already going to the chiropractor and he is more than happy to work with us.

And since we've already formed a relationship with our much-loved psychologist we will probably inform her of the new findings in this complex specimen we call Zeke.

We're realizing that the cozy couch not only helps with his anxiety, but with his ADHD as well and we've got a few other tricks up our sleeve that we are going to try as well.

That leaves the diet.

We've already been working on eliminating the majority of dairy:(  We still do yogurt and cheese on pizza, but at least we're trying here!  Lucky for me, I have a sister who is a pro at dairy free eating!

Next on the list is the dreaded elimination of gluten products.  Lucky for me I have a dad who eats (and a mom who fantastically prepares) gluten free yumminess.

I admit, I have selfishly put this off for far too long, but I am realizing that we should at least give it a try (mainly for Zeke and Jude).

So here goes nothin'.