Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It Doesn't Always Come Naturally

I was having a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago and she started going on and on about how wonderful of a mom I was and how naturally it came and how patient I was and how easy I made it look.  She went on and on, and then she said, "I don't think I'll ever be able to do it."

It was then that I had to stop her in her tracks.  First of all, there is that ugly comparison monster rearing its head again.  Remember, anyone can make their lives look easy and good for an hour or two at a time while they are in public or with a few keystrokes on a keyboard.  That is the first problem we as women often tend to make.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I am so guilty of this and pray against comparison almost daily!  But I know that this unhealthy comparison can lead to bitterness and resentment.  Can you tell I'm a little passionate about this topic, ha!

Anyway, then I realized the next problem.  We live in a society where moms are supposed to have it all together.  Where you pop out a baby and are at church the very next Sunday going on with life as usual.  You bring the baby home from the hospital and being a mom just comes naturally.

But, let me let you in on a secret.  Being a mom doesn't always come naturally to me!  Nope.  As a matter of fact,  I never really even wanted to have kids when I was younger.  Sure, I played "house" growing up, but I was just never one of those kids who loved babies.  I hated baby sitting, keeping the nursery was only a benefit because I didn't have to sit through boring sermons and I would dodge pretty much anything else dealing with kids.  I didn't know what to do with them.  They never really liked me or gravitated toward me...and that was fine.

But then I got "the baby bug".  I mean, who doesn't get "the baby bug" in seminary housing with all the little families all around and cute babies coming home.  It was then that we decided to start our own family.  Now, here is where you need to read carefully.  I LOVE BEING A MOM!  Did you read that?  Just in case you are now painting the wrong picture of me in your mind.  I DO love being a mom.  It just isn't something that is natural for me.  

After I had Areyna, our first baby, it was quite a transition for me to stay at home.  I absolutely LOVE being a stay-at-home mom and wouldn't trade it for the world, but it just didn't feel natural.  I am pretty driven when it comes to tasks and work and when I couldn't poor myself into a job it just felt...weird.  Fast forward a few years later.  When the kids ask me to play with them I'm not like, "Yippee, I get to brush Barbie's hair or build another train track!"  On the contrary, I just enjoy being with my kids, but I do have to consciously shut my mind off of my to-do list to quiet my heart long enough to just sit with them while they play.  That's usually how it goes around this house anyway...they ask me to play but usually just want me down with them to watch them:)

So, don't go around saying, "I'll never be as a good of a mom as _____________________ is", because that will get you nowhere.  You may have to work a little harder at it, but the Lord always gives us what we need when we need it.  Can I get an "AMEN"?


Anonymous said...


Ashley said...

Oh my goodness, AMEN! And just for reference, neither does it come naturally to someone who always wanted kids.

Carissa Miller said...

I love you so much. <3

Kelly Via said...

What a great post, Tasha! What a nasty false expectation that motherhood just 'comes naturally.' It's so refreshing for moms to just be honest and say it doesn't!! We don't read, pray, talk to other parents, and read some more because it just comes easy!!! ;)