Why Does Nobody Ever Talk About This?

I'm going to share a pet peeve of mine. It really bothers me when I hear someone talk about something that they are beginning to experience for the first time and say, "why does nobody ever talk about this?" 

We live in what I believe to be one of the most vocal eras of all time. There are SO many voices and words and resources that it is actually nearly impossible to honestly say "nobody ever talks about" ANYTHING.

I was listening to a women's hormone podcast, I know, riveting. The podcaster was recounting a conversation she had with a friend and they were discussing how "nobody ever talks about menopause." And I thought to myself, "I have literally heard the older generation talk about hot flashes and diminishing periods and raging emotions and hormones in older adulthood my entire life". Now, I never really thought too much about it, I just knew it was coming. But because it didn't really pertain to the season of life I was in it was just background noise. Something I recognized but didn't need to deeply take in at the time. But it was there.

I also heard someone say (actually lots of someones, as surprising as it may be) "why does nobody ever talk about how hard it is to raise teenagers?" This one really threw me off. Maybe it's because I was one of those "hard to raise teenagers" and have been waiting for my turn to parent kids like myself since I WAS that teen. Or maybe because I saw my emotionally exhausted mom quietly talking across the room to other teary moms as they waded through the trenches of parenting teenagers together.

But what about when I went through my ectopic pregnancy that could have taken my life, or the adoption holdups in another country? I had never HEARD of an ectopic pregnancy or some of the specifics of what we went through in our adoption. But that doesn't mean they were or are never talked about. 

Here is what I have found to be true:

When something isn't on our radar because life experiences haven't taken us in that particular direction yet, it DOES seem new and unknown. But it's because we haven't NEEDED to know the specifics of them. They haven't even been on our radar yet.

You may not have ever paid attention to the older generation of women furiously waving their fans in church to cool themselves off from hot flashes or been in their friend circles as they discuss the woes of menopause, but they've been there. We just haven't needed to know it all yet. But you better believe I am listening intently now as a 45-year-old! 

So often the fingers get pointed to the lack of guidance we received as we grew up because "nobody ever told me that". But we weren't meant to know everything yet. Our brains (and emotions) would have never been able to handle it all. Sometimes we need to learn as we go and that is what opens the door to what people who have gone before us have already been talking about.

Whenever I am tempted to fall into the, "why doesn't anybody ever talk about this" mentality I use it to remind myself to pause, take a step back and listen. Whether I am seeing something from far off and diving deeper or learning something for the very first time, I can take this pause. Oh there is talking alright. We just have to become good listeners and be gracious for the things we are just now learning.