It's Probably Gonna Get Harder

Every once in a while the Colony is forced to go through obedience bootcamp.

It's typically after a season of traveling, inconsistency or changes in schedules, holidays and/or lazy parenting.

Let's face it...every parent is NOT going to be on their "A game" 100% of the time and life just gets the best of us sometimes.  So don't consider yourself a failure if you have to go through a season where you have to pull in the reigns to get the crew back on track and adjust to some new family rules.

But much of the time it is going to get WAY HARDER before it gets better.

For instance, bedtime was getting to be really difficult.  With kids ranging from 1-8 and all of them going to bed at the same time, some were tired but wired, tired and irritable, wide awake from too long of a nap or just not quite tired yet.

Josh and I decided that we were going to start allowing Rainy and Zeke to stay up an extra 30 minutes or so on "normal" nights.  Not only were we in need of some individual time with them, they needed to feel like they were valued and earned their right as an older sibling to be able to stay up past their 1-4 year old siblings.

But man was it tough on Cai and Alethia.  We had to keep reassuring them that they weren't in trouble and they were going to bed at the exact same time, but their bodies just needed a little bit more rest than Rainy and Zeke because they are older.  Plus, it gives them something fun to look forward to as they get older themselves!

It took several weeks for this new normal to become normal for Cai and Alethia mentally.  There were a lot of temper tantrums, tears and screaming on their part, and frustration, exhaustion and wanting to give in on my part.  But we pushed through and now the fact that Areyna and Zeke stay up a little later is normal and expected.  No more freaking out.  It just is what it is.

But what about when it comes to an area of discipline?
(Not that MY kids ever struggle in this area;)

But let's just say that my husband were to go out of the country for the week and leave me with the Colony.  And maybe the days went well, but I was exhausted, as expected, and when bedtime for the kids rolled around and the door closed for the night, I meant business.  Every night I laid down the law boundaries and consequences if they were not followed.

But what if one of those sweet, chubby-faced little boys comes sauntering down the hallway toward me...just to tell me that he loves me?  What in the world is one supposed to do with that?!

But I KNOW that if this week is going to go smoothly and I am going to get the rest and solitude needed to survive, then I am going to have to stick to my guns.

Man were those consequences tough:(  But do you think any of the other kids came out during the rest of the week?  Well, actually, the next night was very similar to the first, but through the consistency, even when it was hard, they all learned that I meant what I said and that I NEEDED them to obey.

It's not always easy, and it sure doesn't always feel like the steps are moving in the right direction, but you will get through it and it WILL get easier!

If You Are A Thumb Then Be A Thumb

You know what has always amazed me?
When people get EXCITED to watch my kids!

I mean, when I was growing up I was NEVER a kid person.  I wasn't sure what to do with them.  I did NOT enjoy babysitting.  It felt awkward playing those silly little games.  They smelled.  Their whining was so obnoxious to me.  Those little people felt like foreign objects in my world.

But I had friends that had consistent babysitting jobs that loved on those kids like they were their own.

Then I grew up and had my own kids.
5, to be exact.
And now there are those same kinds of people that actually enjoy MY kids.  They literally THANK US for letting them watch our kids.

I don't get it!

Here is why this is so awesome to me, besides the fact that it blesses this mama's heart to pieces, knowing that my kids are being sincerely loved on while Josh and I are away or serving somewhere.

It is awesome and amazing because this is exactly how the body of Christ works.

God gives each of us talents, gifts, desires and motivations for different things.

If we all just wanted to hang out with kids nobody would be willing to greet the timid that come in the front doors.

And being a greeter, by the way, is also not a gifting of mine, if you remember the profuse sweating and shaky voice that accompanies the very thought:)

Then there are those who love to cook and cater, create set designs, help in the parking lot, volunteer to help clean every week, serve in the soup kitchens and love on the hispanic children whose parents leave them to work in the fields all day.

God calls all believers to be an arm or leg or big toe in the body of Christ.

Some are called to the act of adoption.
Others have a softened heart toward the story of others adopting, and knowing that they themselves cannot do it, can financially or emotionally help another family as they go through the process.

Some people go on short term mission trips.
Others have the finances to help them get there.
And others have the gift of intercessory prayer that cover them the entire time they are ministering.

Some people have been led by God to sell everything they belong in order to follow that calling and become missionaries in another country.
Others see that their own homes are their mission field. Realizing that God has placed them in their very own city and that one doesn't have to live in a 3rd world country to hand out a loaf of bread to someone who is hungry, or bring in a stranger for a family meal or offer assistance to someone in need.

We all can't be the right arm to hold that crying baby, but some people have to be in order to allow those parents to serve somewhere else.  We can't all be the ear that moves overseas to spread the gospel, because then our own nation would be vacant of the love of Christ.  We can't all be the heal that gets up on stage and play an instrument or sing, because then we wouldn't have the discipleship crew to lead the flock or the passionate worshiper within the flock, showing their own freedom in Christ.

The jobs are endless and the workers are few, so when you feel that little tingling motivation that gets you excited that is probably the Holy Spirit prompting you to do something!  Ask God to help you find what part of the body He has called you to be, knowing it may very well be different than what you WANT it to be, and jump into that role.

Nothing is more fulfilling than the thumb realizing it is a thumb and doing the things a thumb is created to do.

"Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."

I Corinthians 12:27

Words Worth Remembering

Zeke: "Hey mom, you know those flying things that fly?"

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Me:"Sooo, what does the letter 'C' say?"
Cai:"I like donuts better than pancakes to eat."

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Cai:"MOM!  I cotched it!"
translation:"MOM! I caught it!"

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Cai:"Do bunkoepeas eat flowers?"
translation:"Do bumblebees eat flowers?"

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Me:"Whatcha lookin' for Cai?"
Cai:"My Superman pants."
Me:"Well, here they are."
Cai:"Nope, those are Spiderman pants...close though, mom."

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Rainy singing:"This girl, she is on FIRE!!!"
Zeke:"What does 'on fire' mean?"
Rainy:"Well, you know when daddy says that mommy is 'HOT'?"
Zeke, looking disgusted:"Ugh, I can't talk about this right now..."

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Me:"Alright guys, is everybody done so we can go to our surprise?"
Zeke:"What is it? Bull riding?!"

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These are the things that keep me going throughout the day:)

Set Them Up For Obedience

It's 9:00 on Saturday morning and the boys are still quiet in their room.  I'm not sure if they have begun to stir or if they are still sleeping.  But they are quiet, and none of them have come out to check and see if it is time to get up for the day.  They had been instructed the night before, to wait for the "green sign" in the morning.  So far so good.  I contently sit in the quiet while finishing my morning reading.  Then I hear the door creak open and immediately I get frustrated.

"Why don't they just wait for the green sign?"
"Why can't they just obey?"

Here is where their disobedience became partly my fault...
8:00am is their wake-up time on school days and 9:00am on the weekends.

Yes, they have not obeyed my instruction:  "Boys, in the morning you need to wait for the green sign", but I haven't abided by my end of the deal.  The green sign was meant to be a sign that mommy and daddy would never forget them in the mornings and that we would allow them to get up at a timely hour, not use the green sign as a way to get a few more extra quiet minutes (or 30!) out of the day.

Instead of waiting until they are getting antsy and repeatedly opening the door and closing it, I should try my best to set them up for obedience.

This might mean putting the sign under the door just a couple of minutes early so that they can see what it feels like to be able to be obedient.

Or maybe sticking by our "wake-up time", instead of waiting for them to begin stirring.

Another way I can set my kids up for obedience is by expecting the best out of them.

For example:
Jude loves the school pencils.  He loves to run around the house with them sticking out of his mouth and chewing on the eraser tops.  But he KNOWS he is not supposed to touch them.  So when he begins to sidestep toward the pencils, while looking at me out of the corner of his eye to see if I'm watching, I can gently repeat our common rule of "no pencils, JuJu".  And when he finally reaches his desired destination and pauses for that infamous "I'm here, whatcha gonna do about it" look in my direction, I can say, "Yay Jude, NO PENCILS!" while clapping and praising.

I can try to catch him in the middle of his thought process as he decides whether he is going to obey or not, and praise him before he makes that choice.  Maybe that slight pause is just him testing you, but give him the benefit of the doubt.





By all means, don't be a naive parent, but give your kids the opportunity to obey, 'cause I'm pretty sure God isn't looking over his children from heaven just WAITING for us to mess up.  He is patient and kind, and always gives us a way out.  A chance to obey.

Focusing On The "Don't Have's"

Part of the anxiety and OCD curse that Zeke and I have been dispositioned with is that our minds get stuck.

This is normal for just about everyone at some time or another, but is exacerbated for someone who struggles with anxiety and/or OCD tendencies.

Yesterday the zipper on Zeke's book bag broke.  The handle came completely off and the zipper itself was stretched out so that it wasn't able to be fixed.  That meant that he needed a new book bag.  This would be the most awesome thing for any other kid, especially since we are that family that doesn't get "new" things until our original thing no longer preforms it's intended purpose.  Our kids are using their same book bag from last year and they were fine with that.

In fact, they were SO fine with it that when I went to pick Zeke up from school yesterday he was coming "unzipped" himself (see what I did there?;).  He couldn't handle the fact that everything he knew about book bags had just completely fallen apart.  That his security in the familiarity of his bag was no longer going to be familiar.  He was literally beside himself.  Panicking with the thought of having to "start over".

He just wanted what was set in his mind.  His expectations for his bag were to last forever.  Even after finding the exact same Batman book bag (in black instead of gray), he simply could not get over the fact that he wanted his old, familiar book bag.  Even though something SO MUCH BETTER is now within his grasp...a BRAND NEW shiny book bag!

He is slowly coming around, but what a battle of the mind.  To let go and will himself to be grateful for what he DOES have and letting go of the past or unrealistic expectations of the present.

Hmmm...can you see where I'm going with this post?

How many times do we sit around and mope and complain about all the things we feel like we are entitled to?  All our unrealistic expectations, all while preaching the provision of God and how He knows what is best for us.

If we truly believe that God has our best interests in mind when creating our life journey, don't you think that we can praise Him, even when our expectations are not met?  Even if the outcome of certain situations is different than we expected?  Most likely there will be something SO MUCH BETTER right within our grasp, if only we can let go of what we always thought our lives would look like and grab ahold of the plan that God has already laid before us.

I'm Only Responsible For ME

There isn't much in this life that we personally have control over.

We can't control the weather.
We can't control the economy.
We can't control the magazines with questionable material (and photos) that are printed.
We can't control the availability of pornography on the Internet.
We can't control the words that come out of others mouths.
We can't control the actions of others.
We can't control the choices that our children make.
We can't control our spouse.

But we DO have a huge responsibility to ALL OF THESE THINGS.

We can control ourselves and our reactions.

We can control what we wear in the rain and stock up our pantry for a hurricane.
We can spend wisely, within our means.
We can teach our children to turn the inappropriate magazines over so the person behind us doesn't have to look at them.
We can set up a filter on the computer to help keep Internet accountability.
We can choose to walk away from gossip, turn the other cheek and even pray blessing over the people speaking bad about us (and/or others).
We can love others in spite of their sin, acknowledging that we, ourselves, are never beyond the same temptations or sin.
We can train our children as best we can and pray for them to make wise choices.
We can pray for our spouses and give unconditional grace to them in their shortcomings, because Lord knows we have made far too many mistakes as well.

My mom's mantra while I was growing up was:
"You are responsible for your own responses."

And Pastor Jimmy says:
"no matter what everybody else says, no matter what everybody else thinks...I'm responsible for me!"

So stop using everyone else and their actions, and all the circumstances around you, to determine your own response.  You can make that difference.  YOU are what you have control over.

The series that our church is doing is excellent! This was actually only a small part of what Jimmy talked about this week.  I'd encourage you to go and listen to the messages in this series, BARRIERS, we've had so far.  I promise it'll be worth your time!

The Hands and Feet

I typically do just fine when Josh heads out of town/country, but for some reason this past trip has been exceptionally difficult for me.  I don't exactly know why, but it's just been hard.

Here is the cool thing...God knew that!
Yes, I desperately asked for extra doses of patience and love to go around and for energy and creativity to make it through each day.  But He also laid it on certain individuals hearts as well.  I love how God does that!

My sister-in-law brought over dinner for us one night.
A friend brought over a couple playmates, a feast and adult conversation another night.
Another friend brought over a coffee blessing and demanded me to go get a quick power nap in, knowing I only got about 20 minutes of sleep the night before.
Sweet texts from other friends just telling me they were thinking of and praying for me.
And yet another friend told me to text her a list of anything I might need at the store because she was already out and knew I probably needed something.  Not only did she get me the needed items, but she came bearing Aveeno oatmeal bath for Jude and stress release bath salts and candles for me.

God gives us just what we need, when we need it!
And sometimes it isn't by giving our own hands and feet the superpowers to get through, but instead impresses upon the hearts of others to be the hands and feet that we need.

Thank you ladies for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and for blessing us in such practical (and special) ways:)

Friday Free-For-All : Highs and Lows

Forgive me if this post seems like I was up all night.

Because I was. up.all.night.

Literally.

Our poor Jude boy has hand foot mouth AGAIN!  They say that every time you get it, it will be worse, and boy were they right!  I've never seen such terrible sores.  He woke up around 11 and didn't pass out until after 6 this morning.  My heart hurts for him, not to mention my eyes that can barely stay open, ha!

But let's talk about something a little sweeter, shall we.

Like guinea pigs!

We all love these little guys, but I'd say that Rainy and Jude ADORE them.  Jude favors Zeke's little guy-that's-a-girl-that-has-a-guy-name.  He only squeezes them on accident when they aren't paying him enough attention.

In school this week we have been focusing on some basic addition.  And after such a terrible mom day we needed a little pick-me-up.  We painted popsicle sticks and glued them on paper to make the math problems.  It was a lot of fun!

Rainy has been getting some extra 8-year-old privileges and staying up "late". And of course, Jude wouldn't go down yet, so they spent some time together last night.  Between the unloading of the dishwasher and the packing of the lunches I managed to walk into the living room to see this.  Oh my heart, how precious is this sight?!

Josh hands over the man-of-the-house rights to Zeke whenever he heads out of town.  And this is just one example of how seriously he takes his duties.  Every night, on his own initiative, he leads the Colony in family devotions, locks all the doors, and tucks all his siblings into bed with stories and tickles.  I couldn't be more happy with the way I see him following in his daddy's footsteps!

Rainy lost another tooth last night!  Hooray for the fact that it came out during her own tooth-wiggling exercizes and not because I was forced to pull it out.  Boo, for the fact that the Colony tooth fairy needs to be fired!  She has forgotten to gather her precious teeth in exchange for goods not once...not twice...but THREE times now!  *sigh*

On  sweeter note my parents are coming for a visit this weekend!  They get here tonight and I couldn't be more excited!  The kids are pretty excited too:)

So, that's been my week.  You know, uneventful as usual, hahaha!

Happy Friday ya'll!

Mom Of The Year Material

After today I'm pretty sure I lost any hopes for ever obtaining any future "mom-of-the-year" awards.

Unless, of course, you count the time I locked myself in my bedroom, laid on the floor and stared at the frozen image of Josh as we tried another failed attempt to FaceTime from Haiti to America, all while ignoring the knocking and calls to mommy through the crack under the door by two Colony members, as "mom-of-the-year" material.

Or maybe the dinner that consisted of scrambled eggs, toast and chocolate pancakes...and even that was a stretch to muster up.  (Good thing Zeke knows how, and LOVES, to make toast!  He had that one covered.)

Or maybe you could count my annoyance at the child who refused to pee in the drain on the outskirts of the pool, just so I didn't have to gather 5 kids...FIVE...F-I-V-E kids and herd them to the bathroom to pee. It wasn't even a poop emergency.  For goodness sakes, just pee in the drain and jump back in the pool to rinse off!  Oh no, he would rather yell, "No mom! I want to pee in the POTTY!!!"

Or my manipulation of the naptime timer that somehow managed to skip 15 minutes.

Or gosh, maybe the moment I yelled at the top of my voice at all five voices asking me different things as I begged them to just.be.quiet.for.a.second.because.mommy.is.beginning.to.freak.out.just.a.LITTLE.BIT.

Or the fact that I kept reciting my stupid memory verse that I posted the other day, but my stubborn brain refused to fix itself on only the pure and lovely things around me because, quite frankly, everything seemed to be invading my personal space and by golly, I just wanted to sit and fester in my grumpiness.

And then Zeke reminded me that he didn't freak out that morning on the way to school.  And when I asked him what the difference was he told me that he talked to God before he got out of bed.

It didn't help that Jude woke up at 6:30am and refused to go back to sleep.  He wasn't thirsty or hungry.   He didn't necessarily want to cuddle.  He just wouldn't go in his bed.  And that time is so very precious to me.  And I didn't get it.  I read the chapters for the day, but I couldn't mentally allow them to sink into the crevices of my being.  I had some prayer time, but it was constantly interrupted.  And wouldn't you know, naptime this afternoon, didn't go much better.  I found the isolation on the lawnmower my prayer closet today.  I begged Him to throw me a bone.  I needed some air.  I needed a second to breathe.

I'm so thankful God hears our prayers, even in the midst of our big-to-us-but-not-really-a-big-deal kind of days.  I'm so thankful for forgiveness on God's part, as well as my children. I'm thankful for the end of hard days that bring a fresh new start the next day.  I'm thankful for do-overs.  I'm thankful for the communication we allow in our family to be able to communicate freak-outs to each other.  I'm thankful for the fact that my kids can respectfully put me in my place when need be.  I'm thankful for their gentle reminders that God can change our ugly attitudes if only we will ask Him to.

So, I may not get the "mom-of-the-year" award, but I did get grace.  Free grace.  Undeserved grace.  Humbling grace.  And a restart with tomorrow.

Thank you Jesus!