Sometimes I can be really quiet...like when I'm shy, or tired, or stressed, or thinking about something else, or in a group of people I don't really know, or in a group of people I don't necessarily connect with, or in a group of people...you get the picture.
Small talk or getting to know someone just doesn't come naturally to me.
It's not that I don't enjoy people or making new friends, but it just doesn't necessarily come naturally to me.
Those of you who are not introverts are wondering what in the world I am describing:)
I stumble all over my words when I get nervous and I replay complete conversations over and over until I find something stupid that I remember saying. I start sweating before I even make eye contact. My voice gets shaky and I sound as though I may cry at any given point.
Sometimes I'll just hide back in the shadows or keep my distance. I may avoid eye contact, thinking that if I don't actually interact with people then I am safe. I can't make a fool out of myself or say something stupid or offensive if I keep my mouth shut, right?!
You are probably thinking 1 of 2 things:
1 - Is she serious?
2 - Oooohhhh, she really ISN'T stuck up!
So, in order to prevent the need to apologize later for saying something idiotic or less-than-appropriate for the situation, sometimes I just choose not to say anything at all.
But, just in case I've said something that offended you without my fine filter on, I'm just gonna go ahead and put my apology out there...sorry friends, I cannot be held responsible for anything that comes out of my mouth after the profuse sweating begins, ha!