Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it is that Alethia has gained from stepping out of her old life into her new life with us.
We ration the milk and cereal.
We don't buy our kids whatever they want.
We have to tell "no" sometimes.
But our kids' needs are met.
Not by our doing, because it NEVER makes sense on paper. The Lord provides it all!
But what is it that we have given her that the Babies home could not?
She once lived in poverty.
She no longer does.
She once was alone, without a family to love her.
She is no longer alone, but part of a family that chooses to love her.
What is it that makes life better for her now? It isn't what she can accumulate. It isn't what she can get. It isn't the amount of groceries stocked in the pantry or the number of pretty dresses hanging in her closet.
It is, however, a family that loves her. Takes care of her. Shares Christ's truth with her in every practical sense. Siblings that see her as their own. It is more than her last name that proves that she IS a Via, but the love from her forever family that God has placed her in, even when her skin color shows no sign of the connection.
That is what adoption is.
Loving her enough to tell her "no", yet loving her enough to tell her "you are ours".
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Not Me Monday
When Josh has an outside gig on Sunday mornings I never stress over getting all five kids dressed and ready for church on time.
I just don't.
Really.
The only thing I need is a mental checklist of things I need to accomplish before walking out the door, like:
~dry hair
~Jude's sippy cup
~extra pair of undies for Cai
~de-lintify (yes, that is a permanent word in my vocabulary now!) Alethia's hair and do something with it...ANYTHING with it.
Yup, just mental notes
that ALWAYS get completed
before walking out the door to head to church.
And since I always get everything on my mental checklist completed BEFORE walking out the door to buckle the Colony up in their carseats, I never get half-way to church...
...before looking back in the rearview mirror...
...and let out a gasp...
...because I have just realized that the one thing on my mental checklist that did NOT get accomplished was the ONE THING that R-E-A-L-L-Y needed to be completed.
Like, REALLY.
And it's a good thing that NEVER happens.
Because then I'd have two options:
1-turn around and go home, and just resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be late. Linty hair is just NOT an option!
2-stop and get something, and just resign myself to the fact that I am going to have to pay a ridiculous amount of money for something to fix the "issue".
And since I hate being late I'd have to choose option 2, and be forced to find a store, on the way to church, carting 5 kids around, that was open, on a Sunday morning, to find a hair SOMETHING to beautify my ethnic-haired daughter, so as not to cause a scene when we walk in the front door.
Because we all know that a white mama, with a brown-skinned beauty has GOT to make that hair priority!
So it's a good thing I didn't have to stop atRite-aid (wait, they were closed!) Food Lion to pick up a 3-pack of the most obscenely priced hair-bands EVER.
Nope.
That's silly to get all worked up over a linty, fuzzy hair mess.
And I NEVER get worked up over silly little things like that!
I just don't.
Really.
The only thing I need is a mental checklist of things I need to accomplish before walking out the door, like:
~dry hair
~Jude's sippy cup
~extra pair of undies for Cai
~de-lintify (yes, that is a permanent word in my vocabulary now!) Alethia's hair and do something with it...ANYTHING with it.
Yup, just mental notes
that ALWAYS get completed
before walking out the door to head to church.
And since I always get everything on my mental checklist completed BEFORE walking out the door to buckle the Colony up in their carseats, I never get half-way to church...
...before looking back in the rearview mirror...
...and let out a gasp...
...because I have just realized that the one thing on my mental checklist that did NOT get accomplished was the ONE THING that R-E-A-L-L-Y needed to be completed.
Like, REALLY.
And it's a good thing that NEVER happens.
Because then I'd have two options:
1-turn around and go home, and just resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be late. Linty hair is just NOT an option!
2-stop and get something, and just resign myself to the fact that I am going to have to pay a ridiculous amount of money for something to fix the "issue".
And since I hate being late I'd have to choose option 2, and be forced to find a store, on the way to church, carting 5 kids around, that was open, on a Sunday morning, to find a hair SOMETHING to beautify my ethnic-haired daughter, so as not to cause a scene when we walk in the front door.
Because we all know that a white mama, with a brown-skinned beauty has GOT to make that hair priority!
So it's a good thing I didn't have to stop at
Nope.
That's silly to get all worked up over a linty, fuzzy hair mess.
And I NEVER get worked up over silly little things like that!
Friday, January 11, 2013
A Year Gone By
We'd been writing "Letters To Alethia" for weeks.
Not knowing how all this was going to play out.
We'd gone from thinking that we may not ever see her again,
praying that somehow, someday, she would be with a loving family,
even if that loving family couldn't be ours,
to the realization that she would in fact, be placed with our family FOREVER!
I had butterflies in my stomach.
1:27pm couldn't get here quick enough.
We'd been counting down the days...
I feel like I drifted through the morning and early afternoon on a cloud.
It's all so fuzzy, yet all so clear.
We were greeted at the airport by so many friends and family just as eager
to see Josh and Alethia step off of that plane as I was.
I had a hard time believing it was really going to happen.
Until she was in my arms I just couldn't allow myself to completely believe it.
We had setbacks from day one.
Nothing went as planned.
That's not entirely true though, is it.
It just didn't go as WE had planned.
But God graciously allowed us to see His hand all along the way,
and made a way for Alethia to make it home so I could safely give birth in America.
His timing was perfect.
His plan always is.
It was raining that day.
Just like it is today.
Reminding us that His love and faithfulness is constant,
even in the storms we have to go through.
As I reflect back today in thankfulness to Alethia's homecoming,
I can't help but think about Alethia's best friend (and now cousin) Chloe,
who is still in the throws of this process.
The red tape and politics will not allow her into America (yet).
But I know for a fact that God is sovereign.
The plan is already unfolding as we ourselves are challenged to evaluate our own lives.
As others prayer lives are brought to life.
As they move to a country with a faith and peace only HE can give.
We do not take lightly how fortunate we are to have had the ending we did.
It could be us moving to Uganda, and we know that.
What a story God allows us to tell in the midst of the hardships we face,
if only we can be faithful and focused to run this race strong.
To God be ALL the glory!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Living Life Offended
There is nothing more difficult than being around someone who is easily offended.
You feel like you can never please them.
You feel as though you have to walk on eggshells around them, worried that the next thing that comes out of your mouth will be offensive to that person, whether it is rightly justified or not.
You know those people.
The ones who keep a laundry list of all the injustices that happen to/against them.
Even from years past.
The ones who view life as half empty.
The ones who always have excuses for the chip on their shoulder.
The ones who rationalize their negativity to the bad hand dealt to them.
And you better believe their hand is worse than anyone else's.
It is exhausting to be around.
Sometimes that person is me.
I can take things too seriously.
I can view my circumstances in a "poor me" or "that's not fair" mentality.
I keep records of wrong.
I temporarily forgive.
But that is not love.
Love is patient, not irritable with other's shortcomings.
Love is kind, not resentful.
It does not envy, but instead is thankful for the blessings bestowed on their own lives.
It does not boast, but is sensitive to other's and what they are going through.
It is not proud, but humble.
It does not dishonor others, but seeks to give them the benefit of the doubt.
It is not self-seeking, but seeks to put others needs above their own.
It is not easily angered, but strives to keep a soft heart toward others.
It keeps no record of wrongs, but offers grace, knowing that they have been offered never-ending grace.
It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, even if it feels justified.
It always protects, never seeking to fight back.
It trusts, in faith.
Always hopes, in faith.
Always perseveres, even when life seems impossible and like everyone is out to get you.
Love never fails.
We need to stop living as though we deserve something!
As if the world is against us.
As if the only bad things happen to us.
As if things are just so unfair for us!
Let's shift our thinking.
We have been given grace abundantly.
Life is NOT fair!
Crap happens...to ALL of us.
Take a deep breathe.
Choose to let all that stuff go.
Choose to rest in Christ's love in order to overflow Christ's love and grace on other's.
God has allowed your hand to be dealt to you, and you can choose to blossom in it or drown in bitterness and blame.
Stop living life offended.
Instead, choose love.
You feel like you can never please them.
You feel as though you have to walk on eggshells around them, worried that the next thing that comes out of your mouth will be offensive to that person, whether it is rightly justified or not.
You know those people.
The ones who keep a laundry list of all the injustices that happen to/against them.
Even from years past.
The ones who view life as half empty.
The ones who always have excuses for the chip on their shoulder.
The ones who rationalize their negativity to the bad hand dealt to them.
And you better believe their hand is worse than anyone else's.
It is exhausting to be around.
Sometimes that person is me.
I can take things too seriously.
I can view my circumstances in a "poor me" or "that's not fair" mentality.
I keep records of wrong.
I temporarily forgive.
But that is not love.
Love is patient, not irritable with other's shortcomings.
Love is kind, not resentful.
It does not envy, but instead is thankful for the blessings bestowed on their own lives.
It does not boast, but is sensitive to other's and what they are going through.
It is not proud, but humble.
It does not dishonor others, but seeks to give them the benefit of the doubt.
It is not self-seeking, but seeks to put others needs above their own.
It is not easily angered, but strives to keep a soft heart toward others.
It keeps no record of wrongs, but offers grace, knowing that they have been offered never-ending grace.
It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, even if it feels justified.
It always protects, never seeking to fight back.
It trusts, in faith.
Always hopes, in faith.
Always perseveres, even when life seems impossible and like everyone is out to get you.
Love never fails.
We need to stop living as though we deserve something!
As if the world is against us.
As if the only bad things happen to us.
As if things are just so unfair for us!
Let's shift our thinking.
We have been given grace abundantly.
Life is NOT fair!
Crap happens...to ALL of us.
Take a deep breathe.
Choose to let all that stuff go.
Choose to rest in Christ's love in order to overflow Christ's love and grace on other's.
God has allowed your hand to be dealt to you, and you can choose to blossom in it or drown in bitterness and blame.
Stop living life offended.
Instead, choose love.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Jude Warren - 11 Months
19.4lb
Still happy
Still content
Still sleeps well
Still eats well
More mobile
Pulls up without effort
Better at wrestling
Hardly ever cries when being treated like a baby by the girls
...or a horse by the boys;)
Does NOT like the word "no"
(what is it with our bathroom that he has a fascination with anyway?!)
Playing games is a favorite!
Tickling matches are a close second
Stealing food off his siblings plates and scavenging leftovers under the table are becoming a consistent activity
Preschool is getting a little more challenging when he is awake
He has been relocated from our closet to the boys room
This transition has been loved by all
(except maybe the girls because they feel left out from all the cute Judisms that happen without them)
Clapping, throwing his head back in jolliness, dancing and "singing" are among his new activities.
Still a joy
Still a highlight of my day
Still a perfect little bookend to our not-so-little Colony.
Happy 11 months sweet Juju!
PS - You can stop growing now. Crawling is fun, but lets just stop while we're ahead!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
There Is No Telling What Could Happen
"Like a city whose walls are broken through
is a person who lacks self-control."
Proverbs 25:28
I don't know about you, but if I owned a big city I'd want big strong walls surrounding it. I'd want to know that it was safe. I'd want to know what the plan of attack was if bad guys were coming. I'd want to know where the weak links were so I could be prepared for what was coming.
Because we all know that if I owned a city and got lazy when the walls began to show signs of wear and tear, and didn't make the wall a priority, there would be no telling what could happen.
But what if I told you I do have something worth protecting. I don't have a big city, but I do have a small Colony. And I am that wall. I am supposed to keep them safe and they should be aware of my human weaknesses so they can be prepared.
Not only am I (and Josh too, of course) the protectant wall around my small Colony, but I have to keep a strong wall around me for protection too, and the only way to keep that wall up is by spending time with/on it.
Layers of protection make the core stronger.
If I don't spend the time on my wall that I need to then I am more likely to have more weak spots in my wall and less self-control.
And when I lack self-control my kids won't feel safe and won't have a clue how or when they'll find another crack in their wall.
And if that happened, there is no telling what could happen.
Self-control.
Active relationship with Christ.
That's what keeps our wall standing strong.
PS-I know I'm not taking this verse in context, but this is where my mind went when I read it and it was a good reminder for me, so I thought I'd share in case you needed a little reminder too:)
If I don't spend the time on my wall that I need to then I am more likely to have more weak spots in my wall and less self-control.
And when I lack self-control my kids won't feel safe and won't have a clue how or when they'll find another crack in their wall.
And if that happened, there is no telling what could happen.
Self-control.
Active relationship with Christ.
That's what keeps our wall standing strong.
PS-I know I'm not taking this verse in context, but this is where my mind went when I read it and it was a good reminder for me, so I thought I'd share in case you needed a little reminder too:)
Monday, January 7, 2013
So Much To Say
Actually, I don't have much to say.
Shocker, I know:)
I process life through my fingertips, yet I can't seem to find anything to process.
Maybe it's the overabundance of things to process right now!
Life has a way of moving, shifting, goodbye's, hellos, relationships, friction, grace...
So, I'm handing my baton over to you.
My life is an open book, obviously, so what would you like to read about?
Friday, January 4, 2013
Friday Free-For-All
Well, this year began with a bang...or not, ha!
The entire Colony has been sick with something that has pretty much laid us out for over a week. NO FUN! It was all I could do to keep Josh up with me to watch the ball drop and kiss in the New Year with him:)
Rainy and Zeke tracked back in this week. We were anticipating another huge transition, like started back at day 1, but surprisingly, after finally getting Zeke wrestled out of bed, forcing clothes on his flailing limbs and carrying him (kicking and screaming) to his class where Ms. Williams waited for him (I texted her to see if she could meet us), I got a text just minutes later saying that he had already settled into his desk! Shew...
When I went to pick them up after school and asked how their days were Rainy replied with a "1" because she was still feeling pretty miserable, and Zeke said "I had a pretty bad day...WAIT, it was a GOOD day, I forgot!" Oh to be able to swim around in his thoughts...
They stayed home on Thursday to get one more day of rest and we were ALL ready for them to head back to school this morning! They gave hugs and kisses and walked right in!
Nothing new to report here. Just a normal week, with an abnormal amount of snot, sneezes and coughing fits.
Happy SUNNY Friday ya'll!!!!
The entire Colony has been sick with something that has pretty much laid us out for over a week. NO FUN! It was all I could do to keep Josh up with me to watch the ball drop and kiss in the New Year with him:)
Rainy and Zeke tracked back in this week. We were anticipating another huge transition, like started back at day 1, but surprisingly, after finally getting Zeke wrestled out of bed, forcing clothes on his flailing limbs and carrying him (kicking and screaming) to his class where Ms. Williams waited for him (I texted her to see if she could meet us), I got a text just minutes later saying that he had already settled into his desk! Shew...
When I went to pick them up after school and asked how their days were Rainy replied with a "1" because she was still feeling pretty miserable, and Zeke said "I had a pretty bad day...WAIT, it was a GOOD day, I forgot!" Oh to be able to swim around in his thoughts...
They stayed home on Thursday to get one more day of rest and we were ALL ready for them to head back to school this morning! They gave hugs and kisses and walked right in!
Nothing new to report here. Just a normal week, with an abnormal amount of snot, sneezes and coughing fits.
Happy SUNNY Friday ya'll!!!!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Let Your Hair Down
New Year's resolutions.
It's hard to enter into a new year and NOT be aware of all the things you'd like to change, do better at, accomplish or stop doing.
There is just something about a new year that feels free. As if you can let go of all the hurt and/or failures of the past year and start fresh!
My resolution lists are typically lengthy and cover many areas. I am pretty good at attempting most of the things on my list, but most of the time at least a few of the items slip through the cracks from time to time.
It just happens.
But this time around, as I prayed for the direction the Lord wanted to take me this year, only one little phrase kept coming to mind:
The thing about having this one resolution is that it can cover every area of my life: wife, mom, housekeeper, Christ follower, and even my appearance.
I tend to be a bit rigid and uptight. I have to consciously make an effort to relax. Flexibility is NOT my middle name, ha! I naturally take things too seriously and can be easily offended.
But this year I want to learn to "let my hair down", literally and figuratively.
This means thinking and living with eternal perspective. This means being thankful. This means pausing my to-do list for a couple of minutes to read my kids a book.
So, come on girl, let your hair down!
It's hard to enter into a new year and NOT be aware of all the things you'd like to change, do better at, accomplish or stop doing.
There is just something about a new year that feels free. As if you can let go of all the hurt and/or failures of the past year and start fresh!
My resolution lists are typically lengthy and cover many areas. I am pretty good at attempting most of the things on my list, but most of the time at least a few of the items slip through the cracks from time to time.
It just happens.
But this time around, as I prayed for the direction the Lord wanted to take me this year, only one little phrase kept coming to mind:
"Let Your Hair Down"
The more I thought about it the more I realized just how hard I work at keeping my hair pulled back in so many areas of my life.
I know, it sounds silly, 'cause it is! But that's the point.
The thing about having this one resolution is that it can cover every area of my life: wife, mom, housekeeper, Christ follower, and even my appearance.
I tend to be a bit rigid and uptight. I have to consciously make an effort to relax. Flexibility is NOT my middle name, ha! I naturally take things too seriously and can be easily offended.
But this year I want to learn to "let my hair down", literally and figuratively.
This means thinking and living with eternal perspective. This means being thankful. This means pausing my to-do list for a couple of minutes to read my kids a book.
So, come on girl, let your hair down!
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