We had no idea what the rest of the year was going to hold for our family.
Not only did Josh and I find ourselves in an abnormally busy traveling ministry season, but we also welcomed little 2 1/2 year old Homestar into our family the morning after we arrived back home from vacation.
I have grabbed my computer to sit down and write at least a dozen times over the course of the past 4 months but I literally can't will my mind to formulate anything blog worthy. (Part of this is because of the nature of our lives right now. We are sharing our family with another, one of the most difficult and beautiful things we have ever done. This means that not all of our memories are OURS to share and we want to be sensitive.)
As I look back over the past several months I see that my blog isn't the only thing that has been neglected. I have released almost every responsibility of mine that is not absolutely necessary.
When I am at my best I see that my release of so many things has been a good, healthy, necessity for this season that we are in right now. I simply know that I can't do it all and I'm okay with that. It is viewed as a "release".
But when I am at my worst I feel like a failure. I feel like I can't keep up. I feel like I can't do it all and that feeling is very defeating. It is viewed as "neglect".
This is when I begin to doubt my calling and my capacity for that calling.
But the Lord keeps whispering the word "perspective" into my soul.
I love the quote by Raymond Edman that says, "Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light."
This year I'm praying that God would help me keep focused on His perspective.
His perspective with relational conflict, with life circumstances, with parenting, with fostering, with ministry, with homeschooling, with EVERYTHING.
When I am seeking the Lord's perspective I see that it isn't my own strength loving all of these kids and this wonderful husband and the community He has surrounded me with anyway, it is Him. It's always Him.
Perspective.
No comments:
Post a Comment