Don't PRETEND To Fight

I love that Josh lets me proofread his papers before he submits them to his professors.  Mostly because we always joke about how I never used to proofread ANYTHING I wrote.  I would write a paper in college and submit it as soon as I placed the final period at the end of the last sentence.  In fact, in my early days of blogging I used to do the same thing.  A few years ago, Josh admitted to going behind me and making the needed changes for me without my even knowing it, ha!  What a sweet husband he is:)

And now here I am, red pen in hand, anxiously waiting to find that one single mistake that he may have missed.  Partly because Josh is such an excellent writer that I can't ever find anything wrong with his writing, but mostly because he values my input and involvement.

So there I was, proofing another paper on Monday evening.  The paper was so good!  I was learning so much!  I began to wrestle with things I had never even though of in a paper about true discipleship and a close, intimate walk with Christ.  And then I read this sentence: "...pretending to be in a battle that I am not actually in...".

This partial sentence hit my heart hard and the conviction slapped me in the face.

How often do I reference this battle, this fight, going on all around us that we can't see.  The spiritual battle.  Good vs. Evil.  The blood, the sweat, the sacrifice...pretending to be smack dab in the middle of it, as I carry on with my pretty little SAFE life on the sidelines pretending.

I want to get dirty in the battle.  I don't want to just pretend like I'm part of it, scurrying around doing acts of service, or half-heartedly making mental lists of how I can help God out.  I want to love God so bad that it hurts.  I want to be so dedicated to His cause that it envelopes every fiber of my being.

At the end of my life I want to feel that good, satisfied exhaustion that I gave it my all, that I didn't hold anything back, like after that soccer game that went into double over time and I've got the aching muscles and scars to prove it.

He is so worth it.  His Son lived a life like ours.  Died a painful death FOR US!

Stop pretending.  Grab your sword and get in the battle!  Let's not just pretend to fight anymore.  Let's make our fight WORTH IT!

~Thanks for going to school, Josh, and letting me be a part of what you are learning.  You are a great writer, but more importantly, you are on the front lines of this battle and I'm so proud to fight next to you!~