Friday, December 17, 2010

The Lord Gives and The Lord Takes Away

What is going on with you?  What happened?  Did you know?  Are you okay?  How's the pain?  How are you feeling?  Has everything sunk in yet?

These are the questions that have been coming in this week after our terrifying whirlwind of a day we had on Tuesday.  So for all of you who are worried, praying, speculating and just plain curious here are the events that have unfolded this week.  Hopefully this post will answer your questions and lead you to know exactly how you can pray for our family.

Two Fridays ago I began having some abdominal pain and trouble/pain urinating.  I was already scheduled to go in for my Medical exam for our home study so just waited the pain out through the weekend.  While I was at the doctor's they didn't seem too concerned but ran a few tests that all came back negative.  They just figured it was cycle-related and told me to come back if the pain didn't go away or got any worse.

The pain subsided long enough for me to fly out to Colorado for my grandmother's funeral, which Areyna and I were so grateful that we were able to attend.  I was still having some abdominal issues, headaches, fatigue and mild nausea but overall was feeling alright.

When Josh and the boys came to pick us up at the airport on Saturday we headed straight down to Charlotte for the weekend so we could lead at Ridge Church.  We made it home on Monday, late afternoon, and I began my period, I thought.  Cramping started and my pain was coming back with force.  By the time I woke up in the morning I was having difficulty breathing and the pain was getting pretty excruciating.  I can handle pain pretty well and thought it was probably just cycle-related, but Josh insisted that I call the doctor and go in immediately after almost passing out twice.

We rushed to the doctor right away and the doctor was concerned as soon as he saw my face.  He knew something was seriously wrong.  After a short exam he asked me to call Josh and the kids in the room to discuss the options.  After talking through what he thought could possibly be wrong they called an ambulance in to transfer me to the hospital.

My heart rate was over 150, my blood pressure was dropping and I was severely dehydrated.  After lots of tests, blood work and more tests, they came in with the prognosis.  I was suffering from an Ectopic Pregnancy.

Now before you start asking questions about this, let's just stop and answer a few of them right up front.
Aren't you adopting?  Yes
Were you trying to get pregnant?  We'd been trying to get pregnant since last November with no luck and, although we weren't actively "trying" to have a baby anymore because of the adoption, we weren't preventing either.
Did you know you were pregnant?  No.  We had no clue.  It wasn't our most "active" month, if you know what I mean;)

Let's continue on with the journey...

So, when the doctor came in and shared the news that we were pregnant we were filled with mixed emotions.  We had no idea.  We also knew that this pregnancy was not a safe one and that we were in the process of losing the baby so that was pretty overwhelming to process.  We still are processing that one.

We also knew that I needed surgery immediately to stop the bleeding.  After an ultrasound showing no pregnancy in the uterus, they found large amounts of blood and fluid in my abdomen, as well as very high pregnancy hormones.  And that is why I'd felt so bloated and looked like I was about 3 months pregnant.  I'd probably been bleeding into my stomach for almost 2 weeks and didn't even know it.

As I was being transported to another hospital for my surgery I was trying to make light of the situation because I felt silly with all this attention on me, I suppose, but the ambulatory staff reassured me that this was very serious and I could die if we didn't take care of it immediately.  It was then that I began realizing just how fragile our lives really are.

We'd been trying to bring another life into this world all this time and we finally did it.  But wait, it wasn't our doing at all...well, we did have a small part in it, ha!, but it is the Lord's doing.  He opens and closes wombs, he gives life and he takes life.  He is perfect and his timing is perfect.

Anyway, I made it through surgery and a blood transfusion, I had lost about a liter of blood, and am sitting at home with my wonderful husband.  I am totally overwhelmed with the amount of help, prayers, meals, love and support we have had from our family and church over the past couple of days.  I have been moved to tears more than once (a day, at least) by this fact.  This is what the body of Christ is all about!

We are so grateful that the surgery went well.  I have had no complications so far.  I am healthy.  We have a little baby in heaven that we will see again someday.  Our kids are being well taken care of.  We have everything we need, and then some!

"Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Your heart must not be troubled or fearful."
John 14:27


Shannon Bradley said...

Tears and chills. Over and over!So glad you shared your story. I have been so curious. I am so incredibly in awe of how God's perfection and control plays out in our lives. Ways we never would imagine. So grateful for the testimony that you and Josh are of God's love and power! Keep resting and enjoy the holiday's with your sweet precious family!! Love from all of the Bradley's!! :)

Stacey said...

Praise God you are OK! I too had a tubal pregnancy and carried it for three months. Far beyond what I should have lived through. That was in 2005. There was alot of oversight and just plain negligence on the doctors part but the second opinion was a life saver. God had his hand on me and most definately on you!

I can relate to the afterglow of knowing that God has divinely intervened and how fragile life really is. He is altogether good!

Praying for you.

Elizabeth Dare said...

My prayers are with you and your family =]

the broomes said...

Josh and Tasha-
I am so thankful that God protected you, Tasha. I am so sorry for the sadness that I'm sure you're facing. We will continue to pray for healing and rest.
Love you all,
The Broomes

Kristina Sadine said...

I'm so sorry. As you guys know Jared and I lost two babies at 10 weeks. No matter how it happens it's never easy. Its' hard to get passed thinking about who that little person could have been. But, God sustains and He will bless you with other children I'm sure. We are reminded of His goodness as we hold our 2 week old son. We love you guys and are praying for you.

Carissa Miller said...

Beautiful, transparent, real-deal Tasha,

Thank you for letting your life [experiences and your reaction to them] minister to others.

Bless you and your wonderful family (including your kids in Africa and Heaven)!

Numbers 6:24-26

MeMe and Poppee said...

Heaven will be even so much sweeter now for you and Josh, for Rick and me, for Kelly and Jonathan, for Jenn and Jeremiah. We all have some very precious babies the presence of the one who made them in His very own image. We are praying for you and Josh every day. Your kids are doing great.

Holly said...

Oh so sad.. I know it must be so hard to go through all these emotions and the pain. I went through something similar a year ago where the dr. performed surgery to remove a fibroid, but it had grown so much he had to remove an ovary and fallopian tube. It is a very tough thing and I know you must be so tired in so many ways. Praying God continues to give you peace.

Anonymous said...

Tashia Your story is so inspireing Im so blessed you shared this .I was really worried about you .God has yoru baby boy in Heaven You will see .It means so much that you shared this story .Its amazing how god can heal you and then Let you feel his allmighty love .I know for me I been through allot fo trails last few months.God has a plan for me and other followers .Its just amazing how god works .In amazing ways go .God for me has Been amazing with all his glory and love god can give us .Through sadness god has shown me allot here verse.
Psalm 27:4-5

Eccl 4:9-12

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
ILOVE YOU Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Elizabeth Marshall said...

I am glad that you are doing well. My mom went through a similar situation when I was younger. I can only imagine what a range of emotions you are feeling. My prayers are with you.

Susan Sene said...

Oh gosh I am SO sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine finding out you're pregnant at the exact time you know you're also losing your precious baby. May God continue to heal you physically and emotionally.

Emily Wallace said...

Wow! I saw on facebook how you were on bed rest and I was wondering... We are so thankful you are ok and praying for your body to heal quickly. Definitely want to get your book after Christmas. Keep us updated!

Stephen and Tara said...

I haven't read blogs in a long time so I am just now reading this along with a few of your other posts..(Congrats on the book!) Anyway I am so sorry you had to go through this but I am encouraged to see your faith and strength through it all. You and Josh are such an encouragement:)