Getting Comfortable In Your Own Skin

I haven't completely arrived yet, but I sure have come a long way.

The comparison trap is brutal and so entangling.

And when we get tangled up in this web,
we feel like everyone else has it all together,
we feel like everyone else is a better mom,
we feel like everyone else has been dealt a better hand.

I think the turning point for me was when we were in Uganda.  I was in a different season than everyone else I knew.  I was pregnant, emotional and feeling "stuck", but interestingly enough, I felt closer to God than ever before.  And more confident in who God had made ME than ever before.

Life continued on all around me as we waited.  Things were being accomplished that I was not accomplishing.  Friends were having fun without me.  People were carrying on, life as normal, and we were living anything BUT "normal" lives.

At some point during our time in Uganda I just stopped caring about what my life appeared like to other people.  I stopped caring about what other people were doing with their lives.  Now, I'm not talking about a kind of depression where I cut myself off from the world, I'm talking about reality setting in.  Everything just seemed so clear to me that appearances held no weight.

The things that defined me before were completely out of my grasp.  I didn't have a home to keep up with.  The choice to be THE wife with the 4-course dinners was non-existent.  Homeschool field trips to the museum were substituted with boda rides to the Jinja market and lessons in Ugandan culture.

Now I certainly had my moments, and lots of them, where I longed for my home and for normalcy, but the feelings of envy or jealousy over what appeared to be bigger and better for everyone else just didn't matter.  I could feel true joy over others accomplishments without feeling as though I were missing out.  It's kind of hard to explain.

But oh how quickly it all comes rushing in when we come back to the land of abundance!  To the land of plenty.  To the land where the biggest worries we have are determining what to wear the next day.  Where petty differences end relationships.  Where we constantly worry about what other's are thinking about how we parent our kids, what kind of food we eat or how many extra-curricular activities we can cram in our week.

You've read how we strive to keep that Ugandan mentality and what a battle it is.
Especially in the Christmas season.

In order to combat feelings of comparison or envy or jealousy or self consciousness I have begun to implement 4 main responses that I'm going to attempt to break down for you.

So here's a typical scenario:
I'm a homeschool mom.  I may have just downsized my class by half, but I still homeschool.  I'm also the mom who chose to put two of her kids in school.  PUBLIC school! *gasp* You would be surprised at the comments I've heard from both sides of the spectrum, so you can only imagine the inside chatter that goes on in my head as I try to mentally process the truth.

Four responses to ask yourself when negative inside chatter begins to rear its ugly head.

1) Who cares?  I mean really?  Who cares, that actually matters anyway?  Josh and I have heavily prayed through this issue.  We feel released from teaching them at home.  We know the Lord will lead us in a different direction if this isn't the right fit.  Who cares if we have chosen to homeschool some of our kids?  I know there are teacher's out there with excellent educations who could do a great job as well.  Besides, who loses sleep over what WE have decided to do about our kids education anyway?

2) Think eternal perspective.  In light of eternity, does it really matter where I send my children for education?  If I am teaching them God's love and truth at home, praying for them the way I should, and feel as though God has released me from teaching them at home.

3) What is the bottom line?  Am I truly worried about my kid's education or about what other people will think about me?  Are they going to view me as a bad parent?  Do they see a failure if I quit teaching my kids personally to send them off for someone else to teach?  Do I feel like a failure?  Do people see me as an opinionated parent who is "too good" for the school system?

4) What is the truth? The truth is that I am a child of God, with the Holy Spirit living in me, and when I seek His plan for my life, He will direct my paths.  And quiet confidence in who Christ has made me will significantly cut down on a multitude of inside chatter, as well as outside chatter, which always helps:)

I'll probably never be that wife/mom who likes to spend hours in the kitchen, or know every natural vitamin to take for my ailments, or dress in style, or have a home that looks like it should be in a magazine, or enjoy crafting with my kids (have I mentioned that I hate sticky messes and flour-covered floors!), and we won't even begin talking about my kids' appearance, ha, but I am learning to be more comfortable in the skin that God has given me.

And "my skin" is the type that loves to be outside, to keep things organized, to take photos of my kids, even if they are crappy, to cook simple, quick and relatively healthy dinners, to be in the controlling environment of my home with the Colony over public play places, who takes comfort over style any day, and allows her kids to wear costumes in public.

Rainy put Jude in her Wonder Woman costume

And I'm okay with that because that's the way God wired me.

And that, my friends, is the freeing truth!

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This post was birthed after beginning to read Todd Wilson's book, Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe.  I think it is an excellent read for any wife, mom and/or single person out there!  I know it is spoken to homeschool moms, but it gets to the heart of this particular issue of how you think you appear to others.

Mosquito Bites?

Zeke has been absolutely pitiful the past day and a half.  I think he's got some kind of virus.  The first time I took his temp. yesterday it was over 99 and last night the last time I took it, it had gone up to 103.8.  I took his temperature under his arm so I don't know if that matters at all.  He woke up several times last night, hysterical.  It was pretty scary, he wasn't responding to us talking to him and he was acting really scared.  He must be pretty exhausted because it is 10:45 and he is still sleeping.  We know he really doesn't feel good because he wouldn't eat a single bite of his popsicle and he would just lick his cookie.  I think we watched more TV yesterday than we have watched altogether since the kids were born!!  I mean, what else can you do.  He just wants me to hold him as he lays limp in my arms.  Poor guy=(

Do ya'll think this could be from his mosquito bites?  We think he might even be allergic to them.  Have ya'll ever heard of anything like this being from mosquitos?  Just a thought...

Biblical Submission - Part 1

I kept getting asked to share what I spoke about the other week at Oasis Church concerning Biblical Submission. We were really bummed that the podcast crashed during the message and that we couldn't just link it, but I'll try to reenact it in Q/A form (leaving out many illustrations for time sake) over the next few days.

Here goes...

Q: "How would you, as a Christian wife, describe the implications of Biblical submission as described in Ephesians 5?"

A: Let's face it, submission is a touchy subject and if we look at Ephesians 5:22-24 as a stand-alone passage it really looks demeaning to us as women and wives. Like we have no self outside of our husbands. But like any other subject we have to weigh it with the rest of Scripture as a whole and see what the rest of Scripture says about it which is exactly what we are going to do today.

Q: "Why do you think that the idea of Biblical submission is usually interpreted so negatively in today's society?"

A: "Well-behaved women rarely make history." This is actually a bumper sticker that I saw on the way down here this weekend.

We as women want a voice, equality, strength, importance and a chance to make a difference and with a single glance at this passage we feel like our chance has been taken away. Our society has led us to believe that if we don't "step up like a man" then we won't be heard, like we've lost our significance.

The western world tends to view submission in a corporate mentality, though, instead of the way God intended for it to be, which is a mutual submission.

This generation is missing the big picture, the beauty of Biblical submission. The submission outlined in the rest of Ephesians 5.

Q: "Can you give us some practical everyday examples where you have had to, or someone may have to live out Biblical submission?"

A: This was hard because, again, I myself, was trying to think of examples where I do what Josh tells me to do. This is the default mindset that we have to deprogram ourselves from thinking. Instead, I found examples where we communicate together to biblically submit to each other while seeking to submit to God's ultimate authority.

Here are a few examples I came up with off the top of my head:

Our career - When Josh came to me and told me that he felt lead to embark on a new journey in ministry together I was a little nervous. That would mean no consistent pay check and the loss of any sense of structure and stability for our family and everyday life. But I trusted that Josh heard from the Lord and believe that God has placed Josh as the leader of our family so I submitted to him and here we are.

Finances - Money matters are one of the leading reasons for divorce. Realizing that fact, when Josh and I were getting ready to get married we made a commitment to each other to communicate openly about purchases. We decided that if any purchase is greater than $50 (besides groceries or things like that) we would discuss the purchase and weigh its importance together to see if it is a wise purchase.

Clothing - Knowing that visual temptations are a huge struggle for men, I try to run my outfits by Josh. We are up on stage in front of people ALL THE TIME and I would be foolish to think that I could just wear whatever I wanted to. Now, that being said, Josh does not pick out my clothes. I think we all know that I probably wouldn't go out much if that happened, but I do run things by him. If he thinks something is too short, or too low-cut, or too sexy (he did interject here and specify that sexy is TOTALLY alright with him;), just ONLY for him!) then I will change my clothes. I must admit to rolling my eyes every once in a while, but I know that Josh knows way better than I do about the struggle that men have and I want to help out in any way I can.

This is just the beginning. Come back tomorrow for Biblical Submission - Part 2.

This And That

I had to run out to the store yesterday (I know, BIG shocker, ha!) and after ringing up I stepped out from behind the counter and the lady that had just loaded up the 3 bags looked totally caught off guard when she saw the belly that preceded me as she said, "We'll be more than happy to help wheel you out to your car...I mean, help you wheel your groceries out to your car for you...gosh, I'm SO sorry!"  I just laughed and told her I knew exactly what she meant, knowing that either way you look at it would have been a nice gesture, ha!

As you know, the baby "room" has been moved into our closet, which means that the nursing chair is in our bedroom.  We have the perfect set-up.  I saw an awesome idea, from an awesome friend, and decided to go for it.  I think it was an idea from Pinterest.  Super easy and costs less than $2!  I told Josh how the normal light wood on tray tables makes me think of being sick, as I normally only use them for a sleeve of Saltines and A glass of GingerAle when I am sick, so I needed something to spice it up a little bit.  I bought a can of spray paint and voila!

Zeke is into the question asking stage.  But not just asking questions.  He asks the same question over and over.  And over.  And over.  I'm trying to work on a creative way of conquering this little "habit" that totally makes me want to pull my hair out.  I think I've got a good one for the following scenario.

I hardly ever just buy candy to have around the house.  Mostly because I will eat it all before anybody else in the family can get their hands on it, but also, it makes my kids turn into monsters...literally.  They will whine and beg and ask for it non-stop until it is gone.  Now, I am well aware that grandma's are supposed to come with goodies for the kids, especially around Valentine's day (and other holidays), (So, thank you Meme for the thoughtful gifts for the kids that they LOVE!!!!), I just have to get creative as to how to handle the monsters when they come out:)

So, I came up with a new rule which states: "Yes, you may have one piece of candy today!" I then have them repeat how many pieces they may have that day, just to make sure we are on the same page.  Then, I go on with the rest of the rule.  "Now, if you continue to ask or beg me for 'just one more piece' of candy I will throw a piece away."  Yup, I'm a mean mama, ha!  I will now throw away a piece of candy for every additional time candy is brought up.  Oh how freeing it is!

So go ahead and bring on the candy monsters!  I know how to beat 'em now:)

My parents just arrived this afternoon, after a call of desperation yesterday.  They came bringing much needed energy for our kids, assurance that our kids will have someone here if this baby decides to make some progress in the middle of the night, and the traditional post-pardum yummy treats.  Ahhh, I can breathe a sigh of relief now...which may actually help bring this little baby into the world!  And if you have an opinion as to whether it is a boy or girl, which I KNOW you do, don't forget to go HERE and vote!  (I promise you'll feel better after you get it out of your system, ha!)  It's been fun to see what ya'll think:)

Speaking of...

...this is what is left of what I can see from standing up, almost straight.  I have to bend just a tad to see the tips of my toes:)

I hope you all are having a fabulous Tuesday, because I was having a fabulous Thursday...until I was made aware that this is in fact not Thursday, but Tuesday, in which case I am now having a fabulous Tuesday.  Thank goodness for homeschool and teaching the days of the week (and children who like to tell you when you are wrong:)!

The Bitter-Sweet Truth About Halloween

Sometimes I think that Christians get it all wrong.

Now, don't get your undies all up in a wad (sorry, we don't use the "p" word around here)...hear me out.

We get so wrapped up in things that, quite honestly, don't matter.

Here are a few examples:

Santa Clause.  We, personally, don't do the whole Santa thing.
Do we think it is evil? No
Do we think it is a sin to play "Santa"? No
Do we think any less of the families that do the "Santa" thing? No
We've just chosen not to go that route

Tooth Fairy. You know we do this one:)
Are we lying to our kids? No
As a matter of fact, when she asked if fairies were real we just told her that they were fun.
Oh, and did I mention, the money she got from her Meme for her tooth was given, in full, to Jesus that next Sunday and after Josh shared from the stage about how soft her heart had been to the Lord as she gave Him everything, it led to several other's hearts being softened to give whole-heartedly.  We heard of one teenager who gave all her gas money in the basket...because of Areyna!

And then there is Halloween.
Oh the controversy that surrounds this holiday.
To us it is about the heart and what we focus on.  I'm sure there are a million other not-so-good holidays that we don't even know about that we somehow participate in without even knowing about.  But why do we get so bent out of shape over allowing our kids to dress up (I mean, mine do on a daily basis!) and get candy after they should actually be in bed:)  For us, it has led to some lasting friendships in the neighborhood.  For us it is a fun, exciting time to celebrate the fall.

That's all...

But while we are on the topic of candy...

Here is something that should get the blood in your veins fired up!  Did you know that "most of the chocolate consumed in America is made by African children who are trafficked and sold into slave labor?"

Here are a few articles to read, in your spare time of course, to get you fired up about something that DOES matter!  Read about the Dark Side Of Chocolate HERE and HERE.  I had NO idea, but now that I do know I will be held responsible for my reaction.

#1 SLOW DOWN

A couple days ago I gave the challenge to come up with a list of 5 things that you would change in your life if you knew you only had 30 days to live.  Our home church, Southbrook, is doing a series called 1 Month To Live and it has been life changing for Josh and I so far!  Last wed. we gave the assignment to our small group to make that list and Josh and I have really been struggling with it.  It's like a  completely different mindset that you have to get into.  I can't explain it.  Yesterday was an emotional day for me, for no reason at all really, just one of those days I guess.  One of the reasons is because I'm getting sick, but I really think it is maily because I've been pouring over this assignment and praying over it for a week now and didn't even have a single item on my list.  The list just didn't seem like it was going to be that hard.  All of a sudden the first one came to me.  SLOW DOWN.  My whole life I've been busy and going, going, going, and it is so hard to STOP!!  Especially when with Josh and I's ministry on the road so often and with 2 small children.  So often I feel like we are tempted into believing the lie that we are only as good as our worldly accomplishments, our to-do list that has to have a check beside each item.  I used to feel the need to list all the things that I'd accomplished all day for Josh when he'd get home for work, like he'd think I sat around all day and did nothing with a baby in the house.  I know, I know Josh would never think that but for some reason I felt like I had to prove myself to him...wait, not even him, myself.  How selfish of me, to put that expectation on myself.  It takes away from my joy in just being a mom and a provider for my family.  I want to slow down and think about the things that matter eternally.

Re-post: Biblical Submission

My friend Jessica asked me several months ago if I would write about biblical submission as it pertains to marriage.  Well, luckily I already have an entire series that I wrote back in 2010 after having the privilege to speak on this very topic.  I thought it would be worth reposting (and re-reading).  I will re-post Part 1 and link to Part 2 and Part 3 so you can make sure you can read it all:)

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I kept getting asked to share what I spoke about the other week at Oasis Church concerning Biblical Submission. We were really bummed that the podcast crashed during the message and that we couldn't just link it, but I'll try to reenact it in Q/A form (leaving out many illustrations for time sake) over the next few days.

Here goes...

Q: "How would you, as a Christian wife, describe the implications of Biblical submission as described in Ephesians 5?"

A: Let's face it, submission is a touchy subject and if we look at Ephesians 5:22-24 as a stand-alone passage it really looks demeaning to us as women and wives. Like we have no self outside of our husbands. But like any other subject we have to weigh it with the rest of Scripture as a whole and see what the rest of Scripture says about it which is exactly what we are going to do today.

Q: "Why do you think that the idea of Biblical submission is usually interpreted so negatively in today's society?"

A: "Well-behaved women rarely make history." This is actually a bumper sticker that I saw on the way down here this weekend.

We as women want a voice, equality, strength, importance and a chance to make a difference and with a single glance at this passage we feel like our chance has been taken away. Our society has led us to believe that if we don't "step up like a man" then we won't be heard, like we've lost our significance.

The western world tends to view submission in a corporate mentality, though, instead of the way God intended for it to be, which is a mutual submission.

This generation is missing the big picture, the beauty of Biblical submission. The submission outlined in the rest of Ephesians 5.

Q: "Can you give us some practical everyday examples where you have had to, or someone may have to live out Biblical submission?"

A: This was hard because, again, I myself, was trying to think of examples where I do what Josh tells me to do. This is the default mindset that we have to deprogram ourselves from thinking. Instead, I found examples where we communicate together to biblically submit to each other while seeking to submit to God's ultimate authority.

Here are a few examples I came up with off the top of my head:

Our career - When Josh came to me and told me that he felt lead to embark on a new journey in ministry together I was a little nervous. That would mean no consistent pay check and the loss of any sense of structure and stability for our family and everyday life. But I trusted that Josh heard from the Lord and believe that God has placed Josh as the leader of our family so I submitted to him and here we are.

Finances - Money matters are one of the leading reasons for divorce. Realizing that fact, when Josh and I were getting ready to get married we made a commitment to each other to communicate openly about purchases. We decided that if any purchase is greater than $50 (besides groceries or things like that) we would discuss the purchase and weigh its importance together to see if it is a wise purchase.

Clothing - Knowing that visual temptations are a huge struggle for men, I try to run my outfits by Josh.  We are up on stage in front of people ALL THE TIME and I would be foolish to think that I could just wear whatever I wanted to. Now, that being said, Josh does not pick out my clothes. I think we all know that I probably wouldn't go out much if that happened, but I do run things by him. If he thinks something is too short, or too low-cut, or too sexy (he did interject here and specify that sexy is TOTALLY alright with him;), just ONLY for him!) then I will change my clothes. I must admit to rolling my eyes every once in a while, but I know that Josh knows way better than I do about the struggle that men have and I want to help out in any way I can.

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Click the following links to read the rest of the series on biblical submission:  Part 2     Part 3

Rearranging Your Home ~ The How: realistic and practical

A few days ago I explained the "why" behind the constant rearranging in my home.

Today I will be mapping out the "how", strictly for fun of course.

For me, it always begins in my mind.  I get an idea in my head and begin mentally moving things around until I have a general idea of how it's going to go.

Have you ever played the game Rummikub?  It is one of my absolute FAVORITE games!  I can almost ALWAYS find a place for each tile and then, as an added challenge, I enjoy finding a home for everybody else's tiles after I've won the game, uh, I mean, after the game has been won;)  Sometimes it doesn't always work out the way I had intended it to go but I still eventually find a place for all my tiles.  On the occasion that I can't remember for the life of me how it all played out  in my head and I'm left with 2 tiles (and a big jumble of switched tiles), I just have to retrace my steps and put it all back.  I've got nothing to lose, right?!  No harm done, except for the impatient players to my left and right waiting for their turn which I have completely screwed up, ha!

Ahem, anyway...

I kind of feel like this is how my home is.  It's like my Rummikub playing table and the contents of my home are my tiles.  Even if my original mental plan doesn't work out, I WILL find a proper home for all my belongings.  Occasionally I have to eat my words and put everything back to its original position, but most of the time it will be in a way that feels fresh and new.

Here are a list of things I think about while rearranging my home.  Maybe they will help you too!

• Don't get too married to a particular home for something, unless, of course, it is absolutely perfect every time you look at it and it allows the object to serve it's purpose to its fullest.
  
  
  
  
• It can't just LOOK good, it has to be practical in your season of life. For example: if you have small children, you probably won't be able to mimic every beautiful living room landscape you come across on Pinterest.  Have you ever noticed how UN-kid friendly many of those set ups are?!  Or how difficult it would be to maintain?  It HAS to be practical for MY family.
• Think outside the box. I love finding uncommon uses for common household items.  Just about anything can be turned into a candle holder or container for art supplies.  We have a door shoe rack that houses our office supplies.  Wood crates that hold bathroom towels. This can get really fun!
  
  
  
  
• Embrace the imperfections!  Finding a way to be content with the things that you cannot change can be a complete game changer.
• There are certain rules in decorating a home, but don't let those rules counteract your own preferences.  For example: book shelves are only supposed to be filled 1/3 of the way full (what a waste, I know!).  But in our home, we have a LOT of readers and even more books, plus a husband who likes to be able to see all his options, when searching for a specific book.  So for us, you aren't going to see many "staged" shelves.  Instead they are going to be slam packed FULL of books and I have to be ok with that.  That is why I do things like this!  I make shelves out of things like baskets or place a pallet behind our couch, so I can implement a little splash of color and eye candy around my home.  Something OTHER than books:) 
  
  
  
  
• Clear the area of everything that doesn't make your eyes happy.  If something doesn't look right, move it.  Either find a new home for it or get rid of it.
• Less is more.  I like simple.  I like toys to be put away in baskets.  I like things off the floors and counters.  I like trash in the trash can and dishes in the dishwasher.  All these things make for a happier place to reside.
• We don't have much that is super nice or expensive (having 5 kids has a way of giving financial and possessional perspective, not to mention all the things that get broken on a weekly basis), so I ain't skurd to get the spray paint out.  I've stated before that not much of our furniture is its original color anymore.  I've come a long way.  It's kind of like the time when I first began scrapbooking and had such a difficult time trimming down and cutting photos.  It felt so permanent and I felt so intimidated.  But I quickly realized that I hardly, if ever, wish that I would have kept the entire landscape of the photo. Besides, I could always order another print if I screw it up ($.10 at the most, ya'll!).  A lot of our furniture has been passed onto us from friends and family and isn't in the most excellent condition anyway.  I figure I can always pain it a different color if I don't like the way it turns out.  Paint is cheap.
• Go shopping around your own home.  Need a color accent in that corner?  Take a walk around your home to see what you can find.  Want something to place all those markers in?  What can I use as a container? Maybe a glass honey jar or a coffee or tea tin.
• Always, always, ALWAYS make sure you have a plan for the Christmas tree.  As well as a large enough area for the boys to wrestle on the carpeted living room floor, adequate lighting by Josh's reading area and a place to put our coffee in the morning.  Those are all MUSTS for us.
• Find the right people to rearrange with.  I like to rearrange furniture with the same people I like to shop with...NO ONE.  I am prone to make a ton of changes and switch things back and forth so much that it's almost embarrassing.  Therefore, I prefer to do it alone.  That way I can be as particular and painstakingly tedious as I want without having to think about how crazy I must look to somebody else.  Unless of course you need an accountability partner to ensure you don't bust the walls out of your kids bedrooms again....moving on...
• Above all, remember that YOU are the one living in your home, so make it your own!  Get creative. Think out of the box. Don't be afraid to change something, you can always revert back to the original.

So there you have it.  A glance into the life of this obsessive home rearranger:)

Let Me Explain

When Zeke was diagnosed with anxiety last year I found myself so relieved.  Not out of a lack of empathy for the kid, Lord knows how hard it is to live with anxiety, but because I had a "why" for the majority of his behavioral issues.

But I still felt the need to "explain" his reactions and behaviors to friends, family and the innocent bystander who just got cut in front of at the drink machine.  I didn't want other people to think I was "that mom" who just allowed her child to act so out of control.

I mean, it really is all about me anyway, right?!

Then, yesterday I met up with a friend of mine.

She is in the exact same stage of parenting as I am, but she also has 2 teenagers to add to her brood of 6 (she just HAD to outdo the Colony by one, ha!)  She is a wealth of information, knowledge and ideas for this desperate mama.  She is in the trenches of infant hood, toddler hood and adolescent parenting all at the same time!  She is one of those mom's who I look at and want to gleam from, and luckily I get to call her "friend".

We escaped for a few hours from the many mommy-shadows we call children, for a walk around the small town with a bright future we call, Rolesville.  Our conversation led from one thing to another, but mostly circulated around parenting.

I hung onto every word she said, but one phrase one particular phrase stuck with me.  It is going to forever change my outlook on parenting and shaping these little hearts that have been entrusted to me.

She was talking about a certain situation with one of her kids and referred to their go-to line they repeat to their children.

"I don't care WHAT people say or think about you, as long as you are taking steps toward Jesus."

Not only do I want to live by this truth myself, but I want to teach my children that our parenting will not be based on what other people will think or say about them (or us as their parents for that matter).  They will be faced with dozens of choices a day, and each choice will either reflect a desire to take a step toward Jesus or away from Jesus.

I shouldn't feel the need to explain my children's behavior, but I should feel the need to talk to my kids about the choices they are making and how those choices affect their walk with Christ.

That should be the only explaining I need to do.

I've God A Good Idea

Sometimes I have these brilliant ideas, so I thought I'd put them out there just in case one of my entrepreneur readers wanted to put them into practice and become a millionaire or something;)

Red Box Parking

I think stores that have Red Box movie rental stations right inside or outside the door should have a half-dozen or so 5-minute (or 15 min. for those S.L.O.W browsers!) parking spaces up front near the entrance.

That way, when you want to run in and just return a movie you won't get a ticket for parking in the fire lane;)

What do you think?  You think someone could accomplish that one?

How about you?  Do you have any brilliant ideas you'd like to share?

Friday Free-For-All : Numbers

***At this very moment there is 1 child bouncing, 5  children eating their hearts out on the 3rd box of cereal in 3 days, and 1 child in the fussy box***

I can't really think straight to formulate a good post, but I guess that is what Fridays are all about anyway:)

Josh's brother, Jonathan, and his wife, Kelly, have been in Uganda working on bringing their daughter home.  They are now the Legal Guardians of Chloe but like our story, they have been put on hold with the US Embassy.  (Insert growls and ugly faces from this mama)

***Now, 1 child is crying because 2 children both want to hold him, 1 child repeating, "I want my shoes on, I want my shoes on", 1 child running around as Thor singing the Thor theme song VERY loudly, while I help 1 child get dressed for the day***

We've added two more girls to the colony this week.  If anyone would have ever told me that I would be taking care of 7 children and enjoying it, YES, not just surviving, but ENJOYING IT, I would have told them they were crazy!!!

If you follow me on twitter you've probably seen the updates throughout the day on what 7 kids do to keep occupied, since we can't really go anywhere.  Our 1-car capacity is maxed out at 5, but we did make it to rehearsal last night.  We were quite the caravan.

And since it takes me a ridiculous amount of time to complete a single post this week, ha...

***1 sleeping, 3 playing a vey peculiar game behind closed doors (I'll have to go check on that in a minute:), 2 scrubbing their beautifully shiny rocks with Alethia's shampoo (yeah, don't know how that happened), and 1 crying because the other two rock-shiners did something she didn't fancy...oh wait, she's fine now:)***

This weekend is going to be a powerful weekend at Journey.  I've been feeling this heaviness, but not in something-bad-is-about-to-happen kind of way.  It's more like an I'm-excited-and-very-expectant-because-I-know-God-is-gonna-do-something-big kind of way.  Rehearsal last night was beyond just rehearsing songs.  The atmosphere was thick with the presence of God.  If you come, you are probably going to see mascara streaks down my face, but I ain't skured!

***2 showing off their now super-shiny "Gems" and "Moonrocks", 1 running around in his underwear between costume changes, 1 playing with squinkies that are NOT his, 1 still soundly sleeping and 2 happily playing house***

I caught myself putting coffee creamer in the dryer and sugar with the pans this week...no I'm NOT pregnant, I just don't think that you get it all back, even after the belly goes away.

Speaking of pregnant:
Alethia has never NOT seen me pregnant before and I'd not even thought about that fact until we got back from Memphis last month.  I've still been working on my pooch at the gym, curses on the slowing 33-year-old metabolism, and I guess she pictures the momma with the pooch when I'm gone.  So, when I got back and had a flat belly she kept coming up to me and petting my belly and smiling.  She kept saying, "Baby Jude not in there anymore".  I think it finally clicked.  I love the fact that Jude won't know life without his Alethia sister!

***6 piled in a van for a fun-filled afternoon with Mrs. Julie Shuler and 1 looking around the house wondering where his entertainment went***

Happy Friday Ya'll, it's gonna be a GREAT day!

Gone

Josh and I have been preparing for our spring/summer schedule to kick in this weekend.  We totalled up the days that Josh would actually be home from this weekend until the baby is due in August and it's less than 2 weeks all together.  I'll be in and out with the kids depending on how they/I do with all the traveling.  It's a little overwhelming to look at it that way but we are just going to go one week/event at a time.  I've been mentally preparing for this for a over a month but due to some unforeseen circumstances the time apart has begun a few days early.  

I just got the kids in bed and the dishes washed from dinner.  I'm tired tonight.  As I write this Josh is on an airplane to Memphis, TN for a funeral of a 25 year-old friend.  We dropped Josh off at the airport after dinner tonight.  My mind was consumed all the way home with thoughts about life...death...the choices we make...the consequences that occur...

*****

During dinner tonight Josh was giving the kids a pep talk to "Obey your mommy", "Be big helpers", "Have happy hearts" and so on.  He knows I have a lot to get done before we head out of town when he gets back and he's heard how crazy they've been today.  Then he did a really sweet thing that I'd like to start implementing more often!  He asked Zeke to think about something that he really liked about Areyna and vice versa.  Then he asked them to tell each other things that each other did to make the other laugh.  It helped change the mood and now I have something to fall back on when they start bickering at each other=)

So, if you think about it pray that I can think about the things I LOVE about my kids and the things they do that make me laugh over the next few days=)

Friday Free-For-All

I don't think I've EVER gone this long between posts before.

Even after having babies and traveling overseas...you'd think I had like 5 kids and a husband traveling the world or something, ha!

It really has been a...week.

Josh had a great trip to Haiti and he came back with a fresh eternal perspective and urgency to live a life of urgency for Christ.  The colony sure did miss him though.

I am in the final stages of school prep for the oldest 4.  I feel 90% ready, but I'm not really sure how it's all going to play out.  There's only 1 of me and only 1 of them who can read so far...should be interesting, but I really am excited!

Micaiah is pretty much potty-trained!  I couldn't be more thrilled.  He even stays dry most of the time while he's sleeping.  Nonnie and G-daddy took him out to Target with big boy undies on with NO ACCIDENTS.  I see a mommy/Cai date in the near future.  A do foresee a problem though.  He wants Mickey Mouse undies, but by "Mickey" he really means "Minnie" and I've just never seen "Minnie Mouse" BOY undies before.  We may have to get creative, ha!

 Jude got a surprise in the mail this week.  My friend, Rita Polk, makes the CUTEST MONSTERS EVER!  I saw her posting pictures of the progress of one she was making a month or so ago and asked how I could get one.  She sent me a link, let me pick out the size/pattern and yarn.  She custom made Monster just for Jude and we LOVE him!  You should go support her and get your own:)  It is excellently (not sure if that is actually a word) made.

The big Raleigh Kid's Exchange was this week.  It took me over an hour to set out all the stuff I was selling.  It took me over two hours to find all the things on my list to pick up and just over one hour waiting in line to check out.  It's a lot of work, but I came out with the best stuff ever this time around.  It's usually pretty overwhelming to me, but this year I didn't feel rushed and had no expectations (I was mainly going to get some fairy wings for Cai, don't ask, and costumes for the colony) or pressured to come back with tons of stuff.  That, plus the fact that I got a break from 5 little mommy shadows made the experience pretty enjoyable actually:)

I got out with Cai's birthday presents, some Christmas presents, Areyna's entire wardrobe and shirts and jammies for the boys.  They should all be set for the next season or 2!  I also found a $1 costume for Zeke, some beautiful pink feathery fairy wings for Cai for $2, some puzzles for the school room which were between $1 - $2, and Super Woman and Wonder Woman costumes for the girls which were between $3 -$4!  There were a few other little finds as well.  I was pretty stoked after it was all said and done.

Well, I think that catches you up on my past week...shew!

Happy Friday ya'll:)

The Life We Live

Josh and I feel very strongly about teaching our children that all good things come from God. But we also feel very convicted to show our children that life isn't always easy and we want them to know that God's answers to our prayers aren't always the "yes" we're seeking. That God is good ALL the time, even when our circumstances aren't always the most pleasant.

This practice is one of the hardest things to live by. Especially for the emotionally-driven girl that I tend to be=) But alas, it is a necessary step in our spiritual walk, I believe.

With that said, I want to tell you a story of God's provision in our lives from this past week.

In our line of work, we don't get a consistent pay check. We strive for a salary but we never really know how much of it we'll actually get. It is a life of faith we have chosen to live by as we follow the Lord's direction for our family and ministry. We have NEVER been in need. He always provides for us and we don't doubt that, but sometimes we wonder just how in the world He is going to pull it off, you know?!

Well, it was time for us to cut our next paycheck and we were about $800 short of our alloted salary. We also had a youth retreat in Richmond, VA and we didn't know where we were going to get gas money to get there. We didn't even have our ministry credit card for backup because somebody stole our credit card number...AGAIN!!! The bills were piling up but I was mentally preparing to rejoice in all circumstances. I was trying to think of a creative way to show our kids that we were going to surrender our lives through this and live in expectancy of God's provision.

Then, I went out to our mailbox (one of the highlights of my day!)...

Inside was an envelope that said "Josh and Tasha Via for whatever" It had $60 in it. We were able to mail off our newsletter, put some gas in our car and go out on a date (don't worry, it was a FRUGAL date. We only spent $10 all night long and even racked up on some FREE groceries in the process;).

Then I opened up another envelope that was for almost $400 on a medical bill that we had overpaid! I have NO idea how that happened because I very carefully run every bill by our insurance explanation of benefits and call the company before paying the balance. I won't argue with them though!

I opened another envelope from some dear friends of ours. God had laid on their hearts to give us a $250 donation. Coincidence? I don't think so!

Then I opened yet another envelope for over $100 from Covenant Eyes. We partner with this organization to help promote internet accountability and we had so many people sign up under us that they PAID US!

God is SO good! I was prepared to rejoice with little, trusting that God knows what is BEST for us. I think that's it though, the willingness to rejoice in all things and living in the great expectation of God's ways!

You'll have to excuse me now, I have to go to the grocery store because we're out of milk, bread, cereal, tortillas...

What Helps You Sleep?

I was just laying in bed, tossing and turning, going through my mental check-list of what I could have possibly done to make me so wired at 1:30 in the morning.  

1-Some people get a high when they go shopping.  For me, it's getting rid of "stuff".  I like to consolidate and organize (and re-organize) and "toss".  So, maybe I'm still so thrilled that I got rid of 2 old lamps (1 of which I'm sure is a fire hazard by now), 2 big trash bags full of misc. items which included unused baby/kids items, like Rainy's old feather blanket which I never saw feathers coming out of in the first place but whenever I'd go to vacuum under her bed an inch of feather build-up would be staring me in my face as if to say, go ahead and try to sweep me up.  I'll just float to the other side of the room! Ha!  Also included were a pair of shelves that Josh HATED putting up because they were impossible to get even.

2-Caffeine?  Nope, my personal cut-off for that stuff is about 4pm or so.  Josh would love for me to sit down and have a cup of coffee with him at night but I have to remind him that he's staying up with me so I'll have someone to talk to all night=)  He quickly changes the subject.

3-Exercise?  I've got 2 toddlers so I think I'm good in that area.  They turn off around 8pm so I've not done anything too strenuous since then.

4-Maybe God's trying to tell me something.  Hmmm.  I prayed a little and definitely don't think this is one of those "spiritual" awakenings tonight.

5-I've found that if I push myself down toward the end of the bed and hang my feet off the edge I sleep better.  

6-I've got ALL my pillows.  One for the head and one between my knees.  You should see my bedtime "station" I set up when I'm pregnant.  I've got like 5 pillows surrounding me.  It takes forever to get in position.

7-Banana?  Yup, had one of those.  I have Restless Leg Syndrome and a banana usually helps with that.  Not tonight.

8-List?  I have an on-going list.  Somehow my mind goes into overdrive about the things I've got to get done the next day while I'm trying to get to sleep, so I write it on the list so I KNOW I won't forget it.

9-I do have company coming tomorrow night.  I'm so excited my sister, her husband and their 3 kids (the baby whom I've not even met yet!) are driving down from the DC area.  They've not been to our house in years so we're pretty stoked.

I can't possibly think of what is keeping me up, so I'm going to go try again.  Maybe I'll sip on a warm cup of Cozy Chamomile Tea.  What keeps you up at night or helps ensure a good night's sleep?

It's Not Always A "Yes"

When you hear, "God answered our prayers" what do you immediately think of?

I just assume that the Lord said "yes" to the specific thing you were praying for.  That's just not always the case though.

I've been thinking a lot this week about the petitions we offer up to our Father.  I think because today marks 6-weeks.  Six weeks since my surgery.  Six weeks since we lost another child.  I guess I am officially off of "bed-rest" now:)

We prayed for a year to get pregnant.  The Lord answered our prayer, just not in the way we would ever have anticipated!

See, the Lord ALWAYS hears his children's prayers.  He ALWAYS answers.  He ALWAYS has our best interest in mind.

But

It isn't always a "yes" to our desires.  Sometimes it is a "No" or even a "Be patient and wait".  That last one is the hardest one for me:)

So, just because the Lord answered your prayer with a different answer than you were praying for, rejoice that the Lord, your Heavenly Father, knows what is best for you, even though you THINK you know what is best, and that He heard your prayer.  Then, walk in obedience to the answer He gave you!

The next time you hear that the Lord answered someone's prayer, ask them what His answer was and help them walk in that direction, even if it wasn't their desired one.

Fun Facts For Friday

Thursday is cleaning day for us.  Most of the time I get a head start on Wednesday evening.  I just can't help myself.  If I can get a few more hours of no crumbs on the bottom of my feet in the kitchen I must indulge, ha!  But, lately I've been intentionally trying to involve my kids in the things I do on a daily basis.  So yesterday, I did most of the house on my own except I gave Areyna and Zeke their own assignments.  Areyna thrives when asked to "help", especially when organizing and cleaning are involved.  I don't know where she gets that from:)  Zeke, well...bless his little heart...if we can get him to remember his one assigned task until it gets completed we are doing pretty good:)

Areyna cleans the toilets and sinks/counters in both of the bathrooms.  Then she was in charge of going around her room and putting anything away that did not belong.  The last task, she vacuumed her bedroom all by herself.

While she diligently worked on her tasks at hand, Zeke and I worked on his task (notice this is singular).  I asked him to pull out all the crap toys, clothes, hardened pizza crusts and stuffed animals out from under the boys bunk beds.  After he FINALLY finished we vacuumed his room together.  It was fun.  I think I'll make this a regular routine.

When I posted the update about our garden this week, little did I know that little pumpkins were on the verge of appearing.  When I went out to water the bales yesterday evening Rainy and I were pleasantly surprised to find 3 little pumpkins beginning to take shape!  It will only be a matter of time before a handful more will be seen!  I think I like the whole transformation stage of this gardening thing more than the thought of actually being able to eat the stuff!  How amazing is it to think that just one little seed can turn into plants like these?!

I have been determined to keep on top of my couponing!  I had slacked off so much and our grocery budget (which had become no budget at all!) was really being affected.  It has really paid off!  I've stuck to Harris Teeter deals, Aldi and CVS.  If I venture out any more than that I end up spending way to much money, no matter how good the deals seem to be.  Just to put it in perspective, we still have 5 days left for this pay period and I currently have $12 remaining in our grocery budget to go and get fresh produce on sale!  This is huge ya'll...I usually run our of grocery money during the first week of our two-week period.

And just to put a fire under you coupon slackers like me, check out what I only paid $3 at CVS!

*DISCLAIMER-I DO still cloth diaper, but I hate making total strangers, who don't cloth diaper, change a poopy CD as they curse me under their breathe, even though sometimes I totally forget...sorry:)  So, I still get diaper deals, on occasion.  Actually this is only the 3rd time I've bought diapers since we started cloth diapering (it's been a year-and-a-half ya'll!)

We are off to play a college retreat in Maryland this weekend!  My kids are eagerly waiting as we pack up the car so they can go see their cousins:)

Happy Friday ya'll!

Life Without My Husband

Since Josh and I have 3 little rug rats now ( we won't talk about having 5 soon...eesh), and because I have become quite the homebody, I have been traveling less with Josh.  It is nice to have the freedom to do this and not feel the pressure of having to leave all the time.  But that means that Josh has to leave us at home a lot.

So inevitably I get asked a lot, "How do you do it?"

Here are a few things that help get us through the time without daddy.

The first thing I do is try to put it in perspective.

My sister's husband is in the Army and she has spent several months/years of her life without the help of a husband.  I respect her so much for all she was able to accomplish while living life alone with her boys.

Then I think about the women who live life as single moms.  I have no idea how they do it!  I personally know several single moms who don't just get by, but thrive as mothers as they find what works for them and their kids.

So, when I get to the end of Josh's two week mission trip and I can't seem to pull myself together I think about how so many others do it all day, every day, for an indefinite amount of time...and then I give my sister a call because she is always so encouraging, even though 2 weeks is nothing compared to what she had to do:)

But, knowing myself and my kids, when it is for just one night without daddy, an extended weekend or a mission trip overseas, I know that we all do better with a plan.

So, here are a few tips to keep you going so you can make the best of this time with your kids, because I have come to realize that these times alone with them are some of the most special times I have.

1 - It's amazing how God gives you exactly what you need when you need it.  This past weekend I was playing at Journey while Josh lead worship in Missouri.  I wasn't sure how late we'd be to rehearsal Sunday morning, with the morning sickness and coming down with a cold, and three kids.  But quite honestly, since I knew it was all on me I was more proactive to get everything set out the night before, I made sure I woke the kids up in enough time to get them all ready AND made a Starbucks run, while making it to church 5 minutes EARLY, what?!  God gives you what you need, if you rely on Him to do it through you.

2 - Themed dinners - You may remember a couple of years ago when we lived in Charlotte.  Each night of the week we had a themed dinner.  We made a whole day out of the theme with library books and activities.  It gave the kids something fun to look forward to, and something fun for me to work toward.

3 - House Projects - I like to rearrange.  Josh doesn't appreciate me moving heavy furniture or flipping the mattress without him, but I like to think of small projects around the house that will keep us occupied.  It might be organizing a messy closet, or rearranging...something...anything:)

4 - Be Proactive - I try to calculate what I'll need while Josh is gone so I get groceries and run my errands before he leaves town.  That way I won't have that task hanging over my head with all three kids, but can be used for an extra outing if we get antsy in the house.

5 - Backup - When we were a one-car family I needed to make sure someone could come to my rescue if I need it.

6 - To-Do List - I try to keep my to-do list to a minimum.  If I happen to have a ton of tasks waiting for me I get antsy, grumpy with if the kids interrupt, and always feel preoccupied, giving me no desire for that special time alone with the kids.

7 - Sleeping - I try to remember to close the blinds and curtains right before dark so I don't have to look out at the pitch black night, which only gets my imagination whirling.

8 - Music - Our house makes lots of crazy noises.  LOTS of crazy noises. So I try not to keep it quiet, especially at night time.

9 - Play Dates - This is a great time to get in lots of play time with friends.  Make it a point to get out of the house, if you have an extra car, to go see some friends.  It's nice for the mom's to be able to chat too:)

10 - I just couldn't end on 9, ha!  Oh wait, happy hearts...that's a pretty big deal...that can make or break your time.

So, there you have it.

What are some things that keep you going when you know no backup is coming?

Cell Phone Etiquette

I was talking with my brother-in-law a while back about cell phone etiquette.  He was being ragged on because he wouldn't return his missed calls.  The caller never left a message, he was just expecting Jonathan to see that he had missed the call and make the call back.

What do you think?  If someone calls you but doesn't leave a message are you obligated to make the call back?  

I don't think so.  The ball has not technically been passed on if the caller doesn't leave a message asking you to return the call.

Here's another one...

I have a few friends who will initiate a text conversation.  When I get a text I try to respond right away, so naturally I return their text but they will wait hours, and sometimes the next day, until they actually text back to finish the conversation that they initiated.

So, if you are the one that initiates the text conversation shouldn't you be responsible to see it through until completion?

I want to know what you think...

Sideways Energy

I have really been struggling with anger and bitterness this week.

I have a tendency to want to prove people wrong when I know that I am right.
I want them to know the truth, and I want to be the one to tell them.
Sometimes the people are well-meaning, but are basing their whole case on misinformation, because they have never gone directly to the source to sort out the truth.

It almost always comes out of a desire to "put them in their place", especially if they have all the "facts" wrong, and not out of love.

It becomes all I can do to hold my tongue and keep my opinion to myself.

It begins to affect my outlook on life and my attitude toward my family.  It is draining of energy, and sometimes paralyzing.

I was talking with my husband about it.
We like to talk about things.
He is such a godly voice of reason in this head full of raw emotion.
I think I might be falling for him;)

He wisely reminded me of what our Pastor always says about things like this.
He simply, but matter-of-factly, shakes his head and says, "sideways energy", and moves on.

That's it.

It is a distraction.

We are never promised that when we make bold decisions for Christ that it is going to be easy, or that everyone else (even if they are believers) will not find fault in the decision, or throw false accusations our way.

When I hear this I can't help but think about the passage in Philippians 4 that commands us to think only on true, honorable, just, pure and lovely things.

So I have to make a choice, and admittedly probably more than one time for most circumstances, not to dwell on the sideways energy that the enemy tries to use to derail the truth.

Today This morning This moment I am choosing to dwell on Christ, and when the next moment comes I'll have to make that choice again.