Wednesday, April 2, 2008


A couple days ago I gave the challenge to come up with a list of 5 things that you would change in your life if you knew you only had 30 days to live.  Our home church, Southbrook, is doing a series called 1 Month To Live and it has been life changing for Josh and I so far!  Last wed. we gave the assignment to our small group to make that list and Josh and I have really been struggling with it.  It's like a  completely different mindset that you have to get into.  I can't explain it.  Yesterday was an emotional day for me, for no reason at all really, just one of those days I guess.  One of the reasons is because I'm getting sick, but I really think it is maily because I've been pouring over this assignment and praying over it for a week now and didn't even have a single item on my list.  The list just didn't seem like it was going to be that hard.  All of a sudden the first one came to me.  SLOW DOWN.  My whole life I've been busy and going, going, going, and it is so hard to STOP!!  Especially when with Josh and I's ministry on the road so often and with 2 small children.  So often I feel like we are tempted into believing the lie that we are only as good as our worldly accomplishments, our to-do list that has to have a check beside each item.  I used to feel the need to list all the things that I'd accomplished all day for Josh when he'd get home for work, like he'd think I sat around all day and did nothing with a baby in the house.  I know, I know Josh would never think that but for some reason I felt like I had to prove myself to him...wait, not even him, myself.  How selfish of me, to put that expectation on myself.  It takes away from my joy in just being a mom and a provider for my family.  I want to slow down and think about the things that matter eternally.
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