Friday, December 17, 2010

The Lord Gives and The Lord Takes Away

What is going on with you?  What happened?  Did you know?  Are you okay?  How's the pain?  How are you feeling?  Has everything sunk in yet?

These are the questions that have been coming in this week after our terrifying whirlwind of a day we had on Tuesday.  So for all of you who are worried, praying, speculating and just plain curious here are the events that have unfolded this week.  Hopefully this post will answer your questions and lead you to know exactly how you can pray for our family.

Two Fridays ago I began having some abdominal pain and trouble/pain urinating.  I was already scheduled to go in for my Medical exam for our home study so just waited the pain out through the weekend.  While I was at the doctor's they didn't seem too concerned but ran a few tests that all came back negative.  They just figured it was cycle-related and told me to come back if the pain didn't go away or got any worse.

The pain subsided long enough for me to fly out to Colorado for my grandmother's funeral, which Areyna and I were so grateful that we were able to attend.  I was still having some abdominal issues, headaches, fatigue and mild nausea but overall was feeling alright.

When Josh and the boys came to pick us up at the airport on Saturday we headed straight down to Charlotte for the weekend so we could lead at Ridge Church.  We made it home on Monday, late afternoon, and I began my period, I thought.  Cramping started and my pain was coming back with force.  By the time I woke up in the morning I was having difficulty breathing and the pain was getting pretty excruciating.  I can handle pain pretty well and thought it was probably just cycle-related, but Josh insisted that I call the doctor and go in immediately after almost passing out twice.

We rushed to the doctor right away and the doctor was concerned as soon as he saw my face.  He knew something was seriously wrong.  After a short exam he asked me to call Josh and the kids in the room to discuss the options.  After talking through what he thought could possibly be wrong they called an ambulance in to transfer me to the hospital.

My heart rate was over 150, my blood pressure was dropping and I was severely dehydrated.  After lots of tests, blood work and more tests, they came in with the prognosis.  I was suffering from an Ectopic Pregnancy.

Now before you start asking questions about this, let's just stop and answer a few of them right up front.
Aren't you adopting?  Yes
Were you trying to get pregnant?  We'd been trying to get pregnant since last November with no luck and, although we weren't actively "trying" to have a baby anymore because of the adoption, we weren't preventing either.
Did you know you were pregnant?  No.  We had no clue.  It wasn't our most "active" month, if you know what I mean;)

Let's continue on with the journey...

So, when the doctor came in and shared the news that we were pregnant we were filled with mixed emotions.  We had no idea.  We also knew that this pregnancy was not a safe one and that we were in the process of losing the baby so that was pretty overwhelming to process.  We still are processing that one.

We also knew that I needed surgery immediately to stop the bleeding.  After an ultrasound showing no pregnancy in the uterus, they found large amounts of blood and fluid in my abdomen, as well as very high pregnancy hormones.  And that is why I'd felt so bloated and looked like I was about 3 months pregnant.  I'd probably been bleeding into my stomach for almost 2 weeks and didn't even know it.

As I was being transported to another hospital for my surgery I was trying to make light of the situation because I felt silly with all this attention on me, I suppose, but the ambulatory staff reassured me that this was very serious and I could die if we didn't take care of it immediately.  It was then that I began realizing just how fragile our lives really are.

We'd been trying to bring another life into this world all this time and we finally did it.  But wait, it wasn't our doing at all...well, we did have a small part in it, ha!, but it is the Lord's doing.  He opens and closes wombs, he gives life and he takes life.  He is perfect and his timing is perfect.

Anyway, I made it through surgery and a blood transfusion, I had lost about a liter of blood, and am sitting at home with my wonderful husband.  I am totally overwhelmed with the amount of help, prayers, meals, love and support we have had from our family and church over the past couple of days.  I have been moved to tears more than once (a day, at least) by this fact.  This is what the body of Christ is all about!

We are so grateful that the surgery went well.  I have had no complications so far.  I am healthy.  We have a little baby in heaven that we will see again someday.  Our kids are being well taken care of.  We have everything we need, and then some!

"Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Your heart must not be troubled or fearful."
John 14:27
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