Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Let Me Explain

When Zeke was diagnosed with anxiety last year I found myself so relieved.  Not out of a lack of empathy for the kid, Lord knows how hard it is to live with anxiety, but because I had a "why" for the majority of his behavioral issues.

But I still felt the need to "explain" his reactions and behaviors to friends, family and the innocent bystander who just got cut in front of at the drink machine.  I didn't want other people to think I was "that mom" who just allowed her child to act so out of control.

I mean, it really is all about me anyway, right?!

Then, yesterday I met up with a friend of mine.

She is in the exact same stage of parenting as I am, but she also has 2 teenagers to add to her brood of 6 (she just HAD to outdo the Colony by one, ha!)  She is a wealth of information, knowledge and ideas for this desperate mama.  She is in the trenches of infant hood, toddler hood and adolescent parenting all at the same time!  She is one of those mom's who I look at and want to gleam from, and luckily I get to call her "friend".

We escaped for a few hours from the many mommy-shadows we call children, for a walk around the small town with a bright future we call, Rolesville.  Our conversation led from one thing to another, but mostly circulated around parenting.

I hung onto every word she said, but one phrase one particular phrase stuck with me.  It is going to forever change my outlook on parenting and shaping these little hearts that have been entrusted to me.

She was talking about a certain situation with one of her kids and referred to their go-to line they repeat to their children.

"I don't care WHAT people say or think about you, as long as you are taking steps toward Jesus."

Not only do I want to live by this truth myself, but I want to teach my children that our parenting will not be based on what other people will think or say about them (or us as their parents for that matter).  They will be faced with dozens of choices a day, and each choice will either reflect a desire to take a step toward Jesus or away from Jesus.

I shouldn't feel the need to explain my children's behavior, but I should feel the need to talk to my kids about the choices they are making and how those choices affect their walk with Christ.

That should be the only explaining I need to do.
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