Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Control

On vacation this summer I saw that my sister-in-law was reading a book called "Character Makeover" by Katie Brazelton & Shelley Leith.  I decided to get it and I'm so glad I'm reading it.  It has asked some very pointed and convicting questions that have really made me think.

This week I've been learning about confidence ... and I'm learning A LOT!  

I've always known I was a perfectionist.  Listen to what it says about perfectionism ... 

"Perfectionists are doomed.  Being perfect is the unattainable goal of a woman who is trying to prove her worth.  But worth is not something we earn or achieve.  Worth is something we learn to perceive.  We come to realize that we have worth because God created us, redeemed us and loved us."  

Hmmm.  When Josh is finished working at the end of the day I often find myself spouting off a long list of things I've "accomplished" that day, as if my worth to him is wrapped around what I've done right or achieved that day.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  How much more of a lie is it to believe that we have something to prove to God by "getting things done".

Today I also learned that, not only am I a perfectionist, but I'm a controller. 

 "If your self-image relies on being right, looking right, parenting right, or doing right, 
then you might become a controller."  

Or in my case, you might REALIZE you are a controller and thinking that these things are a reflection of you!  Ouch.  I've got a lot to work on.  I know I cannot compare myself to others and what God has called them to accomplish.  I know my worth is found in Him!!  I know these things in my head, now it's time to start living like I TRULY believe these things.

So, today, I'm turning over a new leaf.  It is so hard as a woman, especially a mother, not to play the comparison game and/or put our self-worth in the amount of things that are checked off our list at the end of the day.  Anybody with me?
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