On vacation this summer I saw that my sister-in-law was reading a book called "Character Makeover" by Katie Brazelton & Shelley Leith. I decided to get it and I'm so glad I'm reading it. It has asked some very pointed and convicting questions that have really made me think.This week I've been learning about confidence ... and I'm learning A LOT!
I've always known I was a perfectionist. Listen to what it says about perfectionism ...
"Perfectionists are doomed. Being perfect is the unattainable goal of a woman who is trying to prove her worth. But worth is not something we earn or achieve. Worth is something we learn to perceive. We come to realize that we have worth because God created us, redeemed us and loved us."
Hmmm. When Josh is finished working at the end of the day I often find myself spouting off a long list of things I've "accomplished" that day, as if my worth to him is wrapped around what I've done right or achieved that day. That couldn't be farther from the truth. How much more of a lie is it to believe that we have something to prove to God by "getting things done".
Today I also learned that, not only am I a perfectionist, but I'm a controller.
"If your self-image relies on being right, looking right, parenting right, or doing right,
then you might become a controller."
Or in my case, you might REALIZE you are a controller and thinking that these things are a reflection of you! Ouch. I've got a lot to work on. I know I cannot compare myself to others and what God has called them to accomplish. I know my worth is found in Him!! I know these things in my head, now it's time to start living like I TRULY believe these things.
So, today, I'm turning over a new leaf. It is so hard as a woman, especially a mother, not to play the comparison game and/or put our self-worth in the amount of things that are checked off our list at the end of the day. Anybody with me?
13 comments:
I could have written this word for word, because it is me through and through...what an encouragement. I want to put both of the quotes up somewhere in my house,so that I can see them throughout the day! Thanks, Tasha...
wow, Tasha!
I want to get this book!
It sounds like it would be helpful to anyone!
Thanks for the post!
Jill Rose
hey tasha, thanks for sharing. We have started Mom2Mom bible study this week at church and the Lord has been teaching me something new too.
I am performance driven. I want to out perform and out do, because that is an expectation I have put on myself. I also allow myself to think thats what people want. That I have to be the best wife, mom, pastor's wife, etc. Lot's of times I have gotten lost in that identity. But the Lord has reminded me that my identity is in Him. And that is cool with me!
Steps on some toes, huh?? Such a great book!! I am so glad you got it and are enjoying it!!
Just dropped by from Lysa T's blog. Love your blog design...brown is my favorite color. It looks awesome.
What a great post. I'm a recovering perfectionist...experiencing some freedom, but still finding MORE areas that are still keeping me stuck. I pray that God gives you breakthrough and JOY throughout the journey!
Sweet blessings, Amy in OR
I love your heart. Thanks for your openess and honesty!
Your blog name describes me perfectly...afraid of failing. I live my life constantly trying to prove my worth, feeling so disappointed with myself for any mistakes. Not resting in my Father's love for me. He is definitely working on me in this area!
This sounds like a great book! Thanks for your honesty. You are not alone in the struggle with perfectionism!
Learning to trust His love,
K
Visiting from Lysa's blog.
Oh can I relate! I always rhyme off everything I've done all day to my husband when he gets home from work so he doesn't think I was just on the computer all day...hahaha! Feeling like I have to justify my activity. My husband doesn't really seem to care, but I want him to know I haven't been sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day!
So thankful I don't have to prove myself to God and that He accepts me as I am.
I remember hearing Beth Moore say that we can and will fail God, but He will never fail us. So thankful for that blessed assurance.
Great post,
Blessings,
Joy
YES! Ouch, ouch, ouch.
The never-ending to-do list is JUST THAT---never-ending!
Yet, I, too, find myself living by it.
May we walk in His grace daily to do ONLY what He calls us to do for that day.
Many blessings,
Rena Gunther
Hi Tasha, I think it's so neat that you submitted something for the P31 radio shows and I got to choose one of yours to use. I love this post on perfectionism and control - boy do we all relate. Thanks for being so real and inviting us along in the process of realizing God's value of us is not determined by our performance. I am so thankful for that!
I hope you'll like how I format your post into a show. I'll be sure to let you know when it's ready and when it will air.
Blessings,
Renee
Tasha - Just dropping by again to say "Congratulations" on having Renne choose your post for the P31 radio show! How incredibly exciting! Can't wait to hear how it turns out. Blessings & JOY, Amy in OR
Visiting from Lysa's blog...just wanted to say congrats on getting picked. Your blog is beautiful, by the way.
Blessings,
Sandy Cooper
www.godspeakstoday.blogspot.com
wow! this is a great post! God is actually really working on this with me. I never knew how much I walk around seeking worth from everything other than Him!
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