In The Sickness. In The Waiting. In The Stillness of the House.

We've been passing something around our family because we like to share, even if it's germs. And as much as I HATE seeing my family sick, and as much as I hate being sick myself (I'm not trying to sound like this has been fun and I'm just sitting here counting my blessings through it all, lol) we've had a lot of time to just sit and be. Sickness does that to you. It demands that you come face-to-face with your limits. To acknowledge that you really don't have as much control as you wish you had. It insists on making life stop (at least your own life) and on bringing to light the things that really matter. And often times the things that just don't. 

It's good to be reminded of these things. 

It brings a healthy sense of perspective.

I'm on day five of whatever this is. The first two days there wasn't much reflecting. Just sleeping. Lots of sleeping. And then I started coming back to life. Slowly. Ever so slowly. I still don't have any energy to do much of anything "productive" or do I?

As I sat in some solitude before the changing of the year I looked back over the past year as I always do. Reflecting on the things that worked, some things that didn't, and used my memories, like a viewfinder, highlighting the highs and lows of the year. One question I ask during this process is, "What fills me up?". And my answer came quicker than normal this year. I love to write. Most of the time it's just in my journal and actually, even that has been scarce over the past couple of years. I want to get back to this blog. To writing my days, my thoughts, my questions, our moments. 

So over the past couple of days, as I've sat here in the sickness, in the waiting, in the stillness of the house (that is finally starting to come back to life) I have caught back up on the memories of our lives. Mostly just in pictures simply to get me caught up, so words can start flowing again. If not for anyone else, for me. And I'm ok with that.

I know, I have Instagram, but there is something about feeling as though I'm a competing voice in the masses over there. Here I can just be me. You can come and go as you please, or not even come at all, but I can be here and show up in my little corner of the internet with no strings attached.

When I first began the blog, oh back in 2007!!!!, I had 2 littles, we traveled full-time as musicians, I posted about cloth diapering, couponing, product reviews and life as a young mom in the trenches. I can't even believe how much time I spent on here. Our lives look so very different now. We have a house full of teenagers that stay up 3 hours after Josh and I have gone to bed, eat all the food from my grocery run as I'm literally unloading it out of the bags and we have been faithful in our ministry for the past 14 years. The Lord has taught us so much. We have been through a heck-of-a-lot in our ministry, marriage, parenting, faith, relationships, health...but one thing remains. God and his faithfulness through it all. 

So welcome to the unpolished, no-agenda meanderings of my current life.

Track Out Adventures ~ Photos To Remember

I'm an entire track out behind on photos and memories...again!

But nevertheless, I'm determined to keep it going.

So here are some favorite memories and photos from the last track out

between the 3rd and 4th quarters.

Backyard sunsets before the garden took over, ha!

An evening with Nils Frahm. One of the BEST shows Josh and I have ever been to!

A visit with two little Safe Families lovies

Friends. Friends. Friends.

Celebrating a goal

The owners of the Colony Coffee Shop

Creativity at its finest, using the contents from the recycling bin.

Jude's gas tank for his bicycle.

Cai's virtual reality goggles.

Zeke's candy machine contraption.

Library book reading all day er' day

plenty of fort time

More bicycle riding at Nonnie and G-Daddy's

March Madness bracketology!

Journey days with Daddy

We had to say goodbye to Toby and Ace.

Rainy is still grieving them:(

Jemma is always begging for something, lol

Sibling sleep-overs!

Can't Have Things

Jude laid out his Christmas outfit on top of Ralph the mouse's cage.
Needless to say, we had to make a quick outfit change early that morning.

Have you ever heard that phrase, "can't have nice things"?

Well we say that a lot around this house.

Except OUR version is simply, "can't have things".

We don't own nice anything.
Besides we can't even seem to be able to keep up with the simple, ordinary, USED things around here!

I mean, we literally break at least ONE thing almost EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

From leather car seat punctures to cooking scissors snapped in half.
Sliced open tennis shoes to shattered storm windows.

And it's not just the kids.
It's the adults too!
But mostly the kids.
Three male ones in particular.

It has actually become quite comical...after the occasional bad word has been uttered in frustration of course.

Take Saturday the 11th, for example. The broken list consisted of the riding mower, a keyring and a camping chair.

Sunday: a wall hanging in the boys room, to which Cai said, "I don't want it to be broken today because it's Mother's Day!" A sweet heart this one has. He wanted to gift me with a day of no broken things. Wouldn't that have just been the best?!

One day we said goodbye to a ceramic bowl, a drinking glass and a cheese grater.

Wear and tear are responsible for some losses.
The boy's chore of unloading the dishwasher is the culprit for SO MANY others.
Oh the price we pay for trying to engrain hard work and responsibility into these kids*sigh*.

Last Saturday it was another camping chair and a fort roof.

Barbie wanted her hair straightened. Too bad it made her bald!
Lemon oil came to the rescue so my straightener was raised to life.
Barbie's hair wasn't so lucky.

A couple weeks ago someone "accidentally forgot" they shouldn't sit on the serving tray that resides on the coffee table in the living room.

Gorilla glue, crazy glue, duct tape and glue guns have been my saving grace over the years for all the things that get brought to me through tears and remorse.

But sadly most things just can't be fixed by hot-glueing them together, like the arm to one of Cai's Minecraft characters or the punctured hole in the recliner.  We're still working on why hot glue guns can't fix EVERYTHING, ha!

I just have to say, before you cast judgement on me for my kid's feelings of shame and remorse. These feelings are of their own making, I swear!

I have become quite good at controlling my feelings of all said broken things.  I put on my even-tempered I-don't-care-that-my-pearl-earing-just-fell-out-of-your-ear-somewhere-in-the-woods-NOR-that-my-favorite-basket-just-got-crushed-because-you-thought-it-would-be-fun-to-tie-a-string-to-it-and-ride-your-siblings-up-and-down-the-hallway face as I repeat my daily mantra, "it's ok, it's no big deal, I know you didn't mean to."

Just a normal day will be sprinkled with insignificant losses such as a spatula, a pair of socks and a flower vase.

A very sad day was when 2 holes were punctured through one of my favorite blankets (thanks a lot Jemma) and we lost our pizza cutter due to lack of emotional control, ahem...

We are currently lacking two light fixtures (one in the living room and the other in the boys room...because boys and balls don't remember they are supposed to play together OUTSIDE!)

Monday and Tuesday were good days for all things en la Colony casa this week. Miracles still do happen!

But today came in strong with a broken thermometer and then a snapped bean plant sitting on the windowsill waiting to be transplanted. But don't worry, the day is still young.  There are still plenty of opportunities to practice the habit of not caring too deeply about stuff.

We figure we are just working on holding things loosely, we say.
We are encouraging creativity and resourcefulness, we say.
Things come and things go, we say.
They are all God's things anyway, we say...
...as a tear quietly slips down my face as yet another object gets thrown into the trash can. (kidding...kind of)

I know you other moms (or teachers, or grandparents, or any other living human, being for the love!) out their can relate.
So don't worry and don't fret, more things are most definitely going to break in the very near future.
You can start reciting my mantra through clenched teeth and tears at first (because that is how it used to be for me) until it slides off the tongue a little easier with every broken thing that gets brought to you.

Put that smile back on your face, hug your kids (or husband, or cats, or neighbor, or self if you must), remind them that you still love them, and that THEY are  more important than any of that stuff anyway.

And then you can silently laugh and tell yourself, "can't have things".

***UP NEXT: what to do when you keep finding your missing kitchen utensils 

and dishes outside buried in the dirt***

Daddy Daughter Dance

We weren't sure if our girls,

especially our 14-year-old,

were interested in the Daddy Darling Dance our church was hosting.

But when they were asked they BOTH immediately said "yes"!

They had a blast with their daddy.

In fact, Josh may have had more fun than they did, lol!

Throughout the evening I kept getting videos of him

and some other dads really showing off their moves, haha.

It was a special night for all three of them:)

Track Out Adventures ~ The NC Zoo

One of the first things we planned for track out was an outing to the NC Zoo.

And it did NOT disappoint!

It did begin pouring while we were in Africa, but isn't that just like Africa, lol.

Also, some of the animals weren't in their habitats which was a little disappointing,

but we have promised the kids to go back

(since a year family pass was cheaper than just one trip to the zoo with our family).

We saw cute little otters, one of which we think may have had some mental instability.

Bears and coyotes and PUFFINS!  Alligators and zebras and bison...

Alethia even got to see her beloved flamingos.

We had several favorite parts (another of mine being the adorable porcupine)

but one of them was the dome with all of the exotic birds.

It.Was.BEAUTIFUL!

And since we have the big party bus we were able to take my parents with us!

What a fun day we had!