Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Within These Four Walls

the sump pump is in the far left corner, ha!
Some days I feel like I am just waiting for something to happen.
Waiting for some kind of event to make my day worth talking about when my husband comes home.
I'll feel like I need some kind of photo or story to share at the end of the day to prove my effectiveness, productivity and embarrassingly enough as it is to actually write, my own disciple-making worth.

Sometimes this feeling is a strong desire for some adventure.
Something, anything, outside of the ordinary rhythm of my life.

Sometimes, like today, I pray hard for an opportunity to share Him with someone.  To be able to have a gospel conversation with someone.  The desire runs so deep that it literally feels like it's about to explode out of my chest!

Often I'll get to the end of these kinds of days wondering if I failed to be all that God wanted me to be that day or if, in fact, I could be right where I'm supposed to be, even without a spectacular story to tell for that day.

Today I stopped and really thought about it,
because sometimes I'm a slow learner and even if I grasp my true identity and purpose in Christ one day it might escape me the next.  So I have to continually realign my focus on Him and fight the lie that I don't measure up.


I don't have any amazing stories to tell or drama happening in my life today.

Actually, I did have to scale the basement walls to get to the sump pump on the other side of the house to trigger it on since the 4 feet of standing water from the endless days of pouring rain wasn't going ANYWHERE on its own.  This could technically be considered an adventure (and the longest run-on sentence ever), but since I only ALMOST fell in it doesn't count, ha!  (a big shout out to my eldest daughter for pulling me up the steps)

I haven't even had the chance to have any gospel conversations outside of these four walls...but if I am being the mom I am called to be then I should be living out gospel conversations within these four walls every.single.day. Even on the days where life doesn't allow me to leave the house.

These conversations happen with my husband (because a marriage needs continuous gospel conversations to stay focused on the only one who can hold two drastically different sinners together),

with the kids whom God has given me (because parenting is a non-stop conversation toward the reconciliation, truth, patience and heart change that ONLY God can provide),

with my kid's friends that come over before school for a ride, and after school to play, or during school for playdates or babysitting,

with the mail lady who brings packages from Amazon to my door every day,

all the other ladies who walk in these doors who need to talk, vent, ask questions or advice or just walk a couple of laps around the property,

and then there are the texts, phone calls and emails that go back and forth all day long with people all over the world.

Our home has a continuous flow of traffic from all walks of life.
This is the life God has called me to.
And I want to obediently steward it well.
This is my adventure!

I am learning, ever so slowly, that He never wanted us to separate ministry and life. Ministry and family. Ministry and normal routines.  It all beautifully tangles together.  And we can either allow God to use our every day for His purposes or sit on the sidelines just waiting.
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