Actual Conversation

Several weeks ago I thought I'd call my insurance company to see if they had any incentive programs for expectant moms.  You know, sometimes they give discounts for exercising and eating well as well as give you some free books and other fun "stuff".

Here is the conversation that took place:

Me:  "Hi, I'd like to inquire about any incentive programs for expectant mothers"

Agent:  "Sure, I'll need to get some information from you first.  When is your due date?"

Me:  "August 5th"

Agent:  "OH wow, that's just...uh...a few weeks away!  The first package usually gets to you in 4-6 weeks but seeing as you are so close we'll go ahead and expedite this for you.  Also, we usually have a voucher for every trimester that you send in for a free gift.  I'll have you just go ahead and send all 3 of them in at one time since you are in your 3rd trimester.  Now, what is the name of the hospital where you are going to be delivering?"

Me:  "Oh, uh Carolina...ummm...something.  Well, it's in Monroe and I know how to get there."

Agent:  "Uh, okay.  How about your practice?"

Me:  "Oh, it's, uh, Union....uh, hold on let me go get the card and check."

Agent:  "Mm-hmm.  How many Dr.'s are in the practice."

Me:  "Well, I'm not exactly sure, I've only seen one of them."

Agent:  "And what was their name?"

Me:  "Gosh, I don't even remember."

Agent:  "This isn't your first child is it?!"

Needless to say, I had a lot of questions at my next appointment, including where in the hospital I should go when I go into labor=)