Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Sitting In The Dark
A few days ago a certain colony member (who will be left unnamed, ahem) decided that he no longer needed to adhere to the Colony parents rules about electrical sockets. You know, the ones you begin teaching your children as soon as they become mobile. Ya'll, sometimes I think our kids gain a year of life and somehow begin forgetting some of the basic rules of survival we began teaching them when they were first born. Like, shirts and shoes in cold weather will keep them warm (shocking, I know!), eating a healthy meal will mean you won't be hungry 10 minutes after your meal (again, earth shattering stuff here), and wrestling in the living room and running around in circles with a multitude of children in the house will always, always result in tears (Josh may or may not still be learning this one too).
Anyway, it lead to what COULD have been a huge deal (like a burned down house!) but thankfully God had other plans. However, we WERE left in the dark for a couple of days until I could make it out to the hardware store and replace the damaged cord and guide it to a different electrical socket (because "electrician" does NOT fit into this Colony Mom's job description).
This problem affected the lighting in our dining room, which is where we eat our meals, do school, sweeping and mopping, homework, crafting with friends, sweeping and mopping, dinner with friends, reading, writing, and oh, did I mention sweeping and mopping...we basically spend a huge majority of our day here at this table and in this room. The other issue is that the dining room light also provides light into the adjoining rooms of the house to help brighten those dark areas. So on cloudy, rainy days like today we were forced to relocate to a brighter area in the house, away from the darkness and shadows, and into the light that could illuminate Areyna's math problems and Jude's dotted lines for school.
The thing is, we hadn't really thought about the lighting in this particular room until it was gone. When we first relocated our dining room table to this particular area we had to figure out how to lighten the room bright enough for us to see our food at dinner. But I had a plan for lighting by the time we actually made this move, so we never really felt the effects of the lighting dilemma...until now.
The darkness of our home over the past couple of days just so happened to coincide with a darkness that came over myself. Once again I found myself in a mental battle, fighting for light and truth. Reciting Scripture and an attitude of prayer are the weapons I have prepared for times like this.
Me and a couple of my brother-in-laws are memorizing a large chunk of Scripture together. The words in the chapter I am on have NOTHING to do with mental illness, depression or anxiety. The words are not about His closeness, or standing strong. They don't speak on how He does not slumber because he is watching over me or His beautiful plan for my life.
But they are words of Truth. And these words of Truth shed light from the actual source of them, and then pour into the source that lives within me. They are words of the Story that God is writing and He promises that its utterances will never return void. And because I know how this chapter ties into the rest of the story, I also KNOW with all my heart that He DOES draw me close, He IS my keeper who does not slumber, and He DOES have a beautiful plan for my life.
The source of the light is always there, inside, I just can't always see or feel the result of it.
Depression and anxiety hardly ever give notice that it is coming. All of a sudden the darkness just comes sweeping in like a wave, carrying its victims out to sea.
Don't be caught off guard until one day you are just sitting in the dark.
Live out the truth in the light so that when you ARE in the dark you know what to do.