Friday, January 23, 2015

Letting Go A Little Bit At A Time

Now, I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a control freak...
ok, OK, I'm a control freak!

It's true.
I have now spoken it into the universe and will work on accepting my true nature.

But when it comes to my home I can go a little overboard.
Ok, good grief, a LOT overboard!

I can go only so long with the mess and the creative "spirits" in this house before I flip my lid and have to call in the reserves (ie. Daddy) to help me get through the mucky waters of clean clothes piled under beds and play-do stuck in my favorite blanket.

And then I enter the girls bedroom.

Ah, the bedroom which consists of fairies, little families of barking and purring animals, Barbie clothing, books books books, smelly good lotions and hair accessories galore.  I have already placed their furniture in their appropriate places, keeping within the mental rules of room layout appropriate for our home.  I hate furniture in front of windows. I like the room to flow.  Things should be placed in the drawers and bins appropriately designated for similar items.  It all makes sense and looks perfectly in place to me.

The girls are getting older and more particular about how their room is arranged and where they want to place their belongings. And herein lies the problem.  They think differently than I do.  (I know, how DARE them?!;).

They want their desk at the foot of their bed (partially covering a window...NOT EVEN CENTERED!), not tucked under the shelves in the corner.  They want jars with pens and pencils, stacks of note cards and all their quiet time stuff laid out on top of their desk, not properly placed in their organizer underneath.  They want the chair in the middle of the wall instead of catercorner in the back corner of the room.  They like to lay their clothes out on the floor each night for the next day instead of laying them over the chair.  To them, bins fit better under beds instead of on the shelves, and science kits are better on bookshelves with the contents ready to use as soon as a bug is captured for dissection, instead of in its appropriate box in the closet.

One day, in the middle of a mom vs. girls heated argument debate over where the Barbie house should be located, the dad of the house entered the bedroom and offered some very pointed and convicting advice.  He very simply said, "Babe, I know you have a certain way of doing things in the house, but you don't live in this room.  The girls are the ones who have to live in this room.  This is their corner of the home and I have to side with them on this one.  Unless it violates our rules for the family or is disrespecting our belongings, they I think they should be able to decide where they put their stuff."

Of course I took the advice in love and joyfully helped the girls put the room back the way they wanted.

Actually, no I didn't.  I was offended that Josh would side with the girls and just got up and left.

But I KNEW he was right.

I just needed to let it sink in a bit.

After a few minutes the Lord softened my heart to this silly little piece of control that I was trying to place over my girls.  I began to realize that they are just growing up and are actually beginning to make choices of their own.  And if the biggest struggle we have right now is wether their dress-up clothes are in the closet or under the bed then I am going to just respect their judgement and choose not to fight that battle, because one day they are going to have to make much more difficult decisions and I want them to know that I will work WITH them to get to the other side, not AGAINST them.

Parenting = the always-changing, forever-soul-refining job that I wouldn't trade for the world

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