Thursday, October 30, 2014

Not Me Monday (on Thursday)

I would never believe all the hype about giving your ADHD child caffeine to help refocus him in the afternoon.

Nope, caffeine is bad.
Bad, bad, bad.

But if I were to be as desperate as to try this little "trick" I would probably stick to a more "natural" approach than the soda I've heard other mothers trying on there kids.

(That just seems counter-productive to me.  Believe me, I've SEEN our child on a soda kick.  NOT pretty...)

So, if I were to delve into this world of purposefully offering my attentive-lacking child some caffeine to get him through his school day I would naturally go the dark chocolate route.

Oh yes, because there are health benefits to dark chocolate.
It's basically as good as vegetables.
Yeah, I'd go with that.

But real dark chocolate isn't something that is normally on the grocery list, which is therefore, not typically in the budget, but the good Lord KNEW we needed dark chocolate and put it on sale the week I wanted to try this little "trick".

It's pretty much a sign from above.
My family needed to buy this dark chocolate.
It was just meant to be.

And I like the real dark chocolate with sea salt.
Oh.My.GAWSH.
My mouth just waters thinking about it.

But this was a selfless purchase.
For physical benefits.
For attention.
For my boy.
His education.
It was all for my child.
I repeated it several times a day.
It is NOT for me.
It is NOT for MY indulgence.

Nope.

So, the emotional day I was having yesterday would NEVER warrant my confiscation of said, selfless-purchased dark chocolate with sea salt.

Oh no.

I never steal candy from an emotion-filled 8-year-old boy.

No way.

Because then I would have to explain to the rest of the Colony why mommy got to have some of the aforementioned chocolate after the stern lectures about how it was only for the aforementioned child and his excelling education.

And I NEVER try to hide my sins.
Oh, such a deep, dark, sea salt covered sin.

But I did get two bars.
(they were BOGO)

And if I went ahead and ate the last square of the first bar and the first 2 of the second bar nobody would ever know.

But I would NEVER eat all that chocolate.
Just because I lacked the self-control to stop.

Oh no.
Not me.

This mama is the epitome of self-control.
I am in control 100% of the time.

Which means I NEVER would have emotional days that got so out of control, making me rationalize the consumption of that much chocolate.

Good grief.
What kind of woman would I even be?!

But by the time I mentally went through the list of why I couldn't possibly get away with this scheme I noticed that all the chocolate was gone.

Hmmm...where did it go?

I guess I'll just have to go get some more all natural, real, dark chocolate (that is basically the equivalent of at LEAST 4 cups of vegetables) for my son because someone stole it all.

But it wasn't me.

Nope.
Not me.
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