Tuesday, May 28, 2013

If I Were An Inventor

If I were an inventor
I know what I'd invent
I'd invent a contraption
to tell me what to do.
That way I wouldn't have to choose
decisions would be made.
Oh, how I hate deciding things.
Now this one could get me paid!

If I were an inventor
I know what I'd invent
I'd invent a magic box
to place my kids into.
and when they would come out of it
the whining would be gone!
It magically would disappear.
Now, would that be so wrong?

If I were an inventor
I know what I'd invent
I'd invent a symptom sonar
to scan my crying kids.
It could detect the kinds of tears
causing such disarray
then I wouldn't have to waste a co-pay on that day.
(can I get an AMEN?!)

If I were an inventor
I'd make myself a pill
all that I would have to do
is swallow one at will.
this tiny little pill might make me happy when I'm sad
or give me motivation when the house looks really bad
this tiny little pill could help me see beyond the stress
it also would be nice for it to clean up a poopy mess
Geez, maybe it could was the dishes stacked up in the sink
or ease the crying kid whose brother wrote on them in pink.
The toothpaste on the wall would simply be a work of art.
And it would be much easier to parent to the heart.
Would it be too much to ask if it could make me tone and lean?
if so, then maybe simply keep my bootie not so "seen".
I sure know someone who wouldn't mind if it could "get me in the mood"
on those nights when all I want is to eat some crunchy food.
Oh, if I were an inventor
there'd be so much to make.
I'd spend my life creating things
but never quite making life that great.

So, maybe I'll just stop thinking of things to make it better.
And get up off my butt and really enjoy the things that matter:)


Ha!  That was fun:)
If you were an inventor, what would YOU invent?
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