Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Sun Went Down

The other night I went to bed angry.

I don't even remember why.
Isn't that how it is a lot of the time?

We get so worked up over something that carries no eternal weight and after time, we often forget the cause of the little temper tantrum anger.

But whatever it was had interrupted my happy place and every member of The Colony KNOWS that you NEVER interrupt this mama's happy.

But instead of working it out with my words I silently stuffed it away and went to bed angry.
Angry and irritated at the man whom God had given me to love and to cherish.

I was certainly NOT loving and cherishing him in that moment.
And I certainly had no intention of humbly turning inward to unmask the selfishness in my own heart.

So I gave him the silent treatment and went to sleep.

All of a sudden I found myself in a locker room (I'm pretty sure this was a result of too many old episodes of Grey's Anatomy:), with a heaviness of death surrounding me.  I turn to be comforted by the man I love.  I just wanted to bury my head in his chest while he wrapped his arms around me.  But when I turned to be comforted I realized that HE was the one who had died.  I was in that room to go through his belongings.

I reluctantly opened up his locker.

Inside was packed full of all MY favorite things.
Candles, butterfingers, keepsakes that I had given to him...

I remember waking up crying uncontrollably.
My heart ached.
It had all felt so real!

I believe my dream was a gentle reminder to me that Josh's "locker" (his heart) is mine.  He knows and loves me.  He isn't perfect, and neither am I.  He doesn't intentionally hurt me (or interrupt my happy).  He is a blessing that I all to often take for granted.

As he held me close while I cried, I apologized.
The sun may have gone down on my anger, but joy came in the morning!

I love him!
*Thanks for the photo Tawny*

"'In your anger do not sin:' 
do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
Ephesians 4:26
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