Thursday, October 11, 2012

Let Your REQUESTS Be Made Known...

...to your children?

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Circle the BEST answer:

"Areyna, the dishwasher needs to be unloaded again."
OR
"Rainy, when you get to a stopping place in your game would you please unload the dishwasher?"

"Zeke, PICK UP YOUR COSTUMES!"
OR
"Zeke, I see a bunch of superheroes on the floor, when you get a chance will you please go make sure they make it home?"

"Alethia, help Cai pick up those legos."
OR
"Alethia, I know you didn't make that mess, but would you mind helping Cai pick up his legos please?"

"Cai, put your cars away, it's time for bed."
OR
"Hey Cai-bo, will you please put your cars away? we're gonna start getting ready for bed soon."

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I'm learning that the concept of mutual-respect goes far beyond my relationship with my husband.  It carries over to my children. If my kid's constantly hear me nagging ALL DAY LONG they are going to eventually tune me out!

If I'm in the middle of a task I certainly don't want to stop doing what I'm doing right away to help somebody out.  I need to mentally get to a stopping place in order to help with a happy heart.  I've found that the times I remember to respect Areyna and ask her to unload the dishwasher when she gets a chance she almost always comes immediately to my aid to help.

I've found that creatively requesting obedience is far more effective that demanding it.

I've found that acknowledging the "I know you didn't do it" before the "help clean it up" allows the guard to be dropped.  I know that if I feel understood I am more willing to help with a happy heart.

When we can help prepare for transitions by politely asking to do something, it eases the tension of the transition as well as promoting "happy heart obedience" because it is just a small step forward instead of a halt.

Sometimes it's harder than other times, especially when you feel like you make the same requests over, and over (and over) again.  But, when you will take the time to respect your children and make requests over commands, I promise you will see a difference in your "help" AND their hearts!
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