Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Before I Had A Bully

Before I had kids of my own I asked a lot of questions, at least to myself anyway.

Important questions like:

"Are you really going to wipe her nose with her shirt?"
"Are you really going to pick her nose with your pinky fingernail?"
"Are you really going to change his diaper there?"
"When I have kids my kids are NOT going to act like that!"
"Oh, she's a thumb sucker?  My kids won't be thumb suckers.  You can take a paci away, but you can't take a thumb away."
"Are you really letting your kid run around buck-naked?!"
"Wow, that mom really is going to let him eat that off the floor!"

But now I'm a mom and I have learned that:

The shirt really is the quickest tool to catch the never ending fountain of snot that just will not quit coming out of her nose,
and
Hey, my pinky fingernail works perfectly to get those little boogies,
and
I'll just change him right here, so as to eliminate the waterworks from the other 2 kids already playing on the playground,
and
wow, I'm glad these other moms can relate, knowing that you just can't control your own children sometimes,
and
you can only stuff a paci in a mouth so many times before you just have to realize that they will not take the paci anymore and they ARE going to suck their thumbs!
and
buck-naked is the preferred outfit in this household:)
and
yes, my kids can eat off the floor!

I've learned that we, as parents, are placed in our children's lives as a guide.  We train our children to love the Lord and others, but they make their own choices all along the way.  We cannot force them to do certain things, but we can teach them how they ought to act and respond.

Before I had a bully I used to think to myself:

"Is that mom even going to step in and make her kid stop being so rough?"
"My kids will not be so mean to other kids."
"I am going to teach my kids to share and not always take."
"Hey, your little kids just knocked over my kid, aren't you going to do something?"

But, now I have a bully.

He is the cutest little bully I ever did see.

But don't let those eyes full you.  He manipulates fights, he takes, he pushes, he'll chase you with wooden drum sticks down the hall, he grabs, he pulls hair, he hits...all while catching my eye to see what reaction he is going to get from us.

I now know that I simply cannot tame him, or keep him from being mean to other kids, or from taking their toys (or sippy cups, or snacks or pacis, or...), and that he is going to knock some kids down.

I also know that I am going to have days when I get an email from the children's department stating that "You have a very active toddler and we are going to move him up to the next class":)  At least they were trying to be kind about it!  I also know that I am going to be embarrassed by his temperament sometimes,

But I've learned that we, as parents, are placed in our children's lives as a guide.  We train our children to love the Lord and others, in the best way we know how, but they make their own choices all along the way.  We cannot force them to do certain things, but we can teach them how they ought to act and respond.
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