Monday, December 10, 2007

That Feeling

Have you ever felt so burdened by someone or something that you felt like you were suffocating and could hardly breathe? Like your anxiety level is so high that your heart is pounding through your chest and it makes you lightheaded? I have only felt this way a handful of times. Two specific times stick out in my head and they both happened around this time last year and both of them were out of my control. This past week I haven't slept well. It's a strange thing, really. I used to deal with sleeping problems, especially in high school and college, but they diminished, for the most part, after I got married. This week has been different, though. It's as if the Lord has been keeping me from sleep because that is the only time I'll hold still long enough for him to speak to me. He has been laying people on my heart to pray for and to find ways to encourage. I have felt this burdened feeling off and on for several days now. Today has been the worst, though. I found out my sister-in-law is in the hospital and the doctors have narrowed it down to 2 different diseases. My heart aches for her and my brother. I've never felt the Lord working on my heart like this before. I want to encourage His people. I want His leaders to feel like they are making a difference, even when they are feeling discouraged and alone. I want to love on my hurting friends, even if I can't relate completely with what they are going through. I want to drive to FL to be with one of my best friends, while he stands by his wife in the hospital. God, the circumstances are out of my control, but you have given me the power to communicate your love. I can do that.
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