Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Desperate Thanksgiving

Often times we forget about God and his miraculous ability and power until we are desperate.

Desperate for the miracle.
Desperate for a change.
Desperate for God's favor on a hopeless situation.

In these times we find ourselves on our knees, crying the free-flowing tears of someone NEEDING a move from the Lord that ONLY HE can do!

We are at the bottom.
We have nowhere else to turn.

And He hears us.
He always hears us.
He may answer in a different way than we were praying for, but He is the one who knows the end result and all the steps in between that will get us to where we need to be.

Then there are the times He answers with the Yes we have been agonizing in prayer over...those are the times I most often find myself without words.

My thanksgivings are typically shown through huge sighs of relief and wordless praise, "Praise the Lord"s, and sharing the good news with friends and family who have been praying the same result alongside me.

This week has marked some pretty major hurdles turned to Yes's from our Heavenly Father that I simply couldn't NOT document in a post of thanksgiving.

And not just a simple shout of thanksgiving.
A DESPERATE cry of thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father.

For starters, I got to go to Uganda a couple of weeks ago.

This is huge for several reasons because there is that little word we call "details". But the Lord had His hand in it all.

Financially we had exactly what we needed to get me there.  Childcare for Josh when he needed it was provided in abundance (thank you everyone who contributed to this huge blessing!).  And my emotional state was open enough to get me on that plane that would take me to the country where my last memory is prying my crying and screaming baby off of me at the airport entrance for, for all I knew, could have been the last time I might see her face to face.
I don't ever have to feel like my air supply is about to be cut off walking up to the entrance
of the Entebbe ever again.  Closure.  A "Yes". Moving On.

I am well aware that this may sound a bit extreme for some of you, but for a highly emotional pregnant woman, with little knowledge of the next steps this adoption could bring, I was quite simply stuck in that last memory.  And I have had a difficult time every fall when these dates come racing around the corner as I remember those feelings of hopelessness and anxiety and heartbreak and ache I felt.

All that said, this trip to Uganda, not only gave me a much-needed break from life to regroup as a mom, in order to feel refreshed and ready to tackle life again, it also provided closure to the aching I have felt inside ever since leaving.  I needed this trip much more than I would have ever imagined!

I also got to see my sister-in-law/friend in her own environment.  I got to meet her friends.  Eat at her favorite Jinja joints.  Laugh at the things you just have to laugh at in order to survive in Africa, and share in her day-to-day.  And I even got to relive court on the other side!

Which brings me to my next desperate thanksgiving...

As of yesterday, sweet Chloe Laiti is now an official Via!  This basically means that they wait to get that signed document in hand and take it to the Embassy to get this family back to America TOGETHER!  I cannot adequately express how much of a miracle this entire process has been for this family.  But I am so grateful to be staring at them through the light at the end of the tunnel.  They have done so well.  So well.  And I am so proud of them.  And I am certain that they will finish this journey strong!


This word introduces my next desperate heart-cry of thanksgiving.

My mom.
After being diagnosed with breast cancer last winter,
she has endured a surgery.
Followed by 18 rounds of chemo.
Which lead to 6 weeks of daily radiation.
And today, a good report on her mammogram.

Praise the Lord.  Thank you God.

Thank you God.

This week my brother-in-law also graduated from the police academy to become a police officer.  I am beyond proud of him!  He needed this.  A boost of confidence. A secure job for his growing family (this "thanksgiving" is coming!).  Motivation to keep working hard and providing. A sense of accomplishment. (I can't even imagine!  Police academy is not for the faint hearted.)

And like I said, the next "thanksgiving"...well he arrived late Tuesday morning after a not-so-by-the-book arrival.  But he is here. And his name is Cohen Davies Ezelle.  He is healthy and after stealing lots of snuggle time I can attest to his perfect little mouth and cute little squeaks while he sleeps.  Yup, he's pretty perfect.

Life hardly ever goes as planned.
But I am grateful and so very thankful that HE is in control.
God, You will take care of all the details.
You always do.

And tonight I am desperately thankful that you do.

Thank you God, for all the Yes's you allow us to witness.
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