Tuesday, July 22, 2014

When I'm Touchy But She's Not

Josh and I have pretty much pin pointed Alethia's love language.

Oh sure, she loves receiving gifts just as much as any other kid in the world, and she loves to hear that she looks beautiful or that she is doing a great job, but this girl CRAVES physical touch.

I, on the other hand, am not a physical touch kind of girl.
I have a rather large personal bubble, er, um, I tend to be a rather touchy individual...there I said it!

I need my space.

So, often times our two worlds collide.
My first instinct is to give her a quick rub on her arm, kiss her forehead while I whisper "I love you", and send her on her way.

She never puts up a fight...on the outside anyway.
But I can't imagine what that has been doing to the inside.

We've noticed her moving in even more closer lately.
Sitting almost on top of us on the couch
or scooting her chair right up next to ours at the table
or laying up right next to us to cuddle, so close that I can feel her breathe on my face
or hanging on us, where she has almost knocked me off of my feet at times.

Maybe because she has started school and is getting even less of the touch she longs for.
Maybe it is because she is in such "touch deficit" that she is trying to even her levels back out.
Who knows.

But I've realized that the days where I intentionally fight the urge to quickly move her along
or make myself hold still and call her over to read a book in my lap
or allow her to hang on my back while I make Cai's LEGO Batman car again

she is much more content.

She carries herself with confidence.
She plays better with others.
She doesn't have such an attitude when I ask her to do something for me.

And most likely, you'll have to work at it too.
And then you'll have another kid, and have to figure out how to love them!

Don't allow your own safeguards to be an excuse not to open up to the kind of love your child needs.
It will be SO worth it!
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