Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Just Me...Looking For Weeds

I may regret writing this post, but I've said before, one of the reasons I blog is because it is great accountability.

So here it goes...

I am entering myself into a clinical study, well not really, it's more of an experiment...that I'm making up as I go, with one sole purpose.  Heck, the rules may change half-way into the experiment, but that's not the point.

The point is to find contentment.

True contentment can only be found in Christ, and in Christ alone.
But things, activities, even people, can distract us from this contentment.

I am calling these distractions the "weeds".

These things, activities and people are NOT bad in and of themselves, but my sinful, selfish heart makes it a distraction from the grateful and thankful heart I SHOULD have for the overabundance of what I DO have.

Finding contentment looks different for everybody.
Everybody has different weeds in their own yards, so the process to uproot the weeds will almost always look different for you than it does for me.

This experiment, for myself, has been named, by me, THE CONTENTMENT EXPERIMENT, because that's what I am striving for.

A few examples:

1 - We just recently became homeowners.  The possibilities are endless (too bad the bank account isn't, ha!).  There are several things we need to do for health and safety reasons first, but man I would love to _______________________.  If I let my mind linger here too long I begin  wishing for things that just aren't.

So, after I created a Pinterest account for the first time, way too late at night, I might add, I realized that I probably shouldn't go back there to just "hang out".  I need to have a purpose for being there or the discontentment could set in pretty quickly.

I don't subscribe to, or hardly even thumb through, decorating magazines.  Yes, they can give me great ideas, but they also give me an unfulfilled desire for things that I don't need and projects that I can't afford.

I have stopped the weekly sale emails from stores for the exact same reason.  I don't need a sale for something, unless I NEED to look for a sale on something...does that make sense?

2 - Clothing/Style - oh my goodness, the amount of time and money one can spend on clothing and style can get outrageous.  I don't allow myself to "window shop" in Target anymore, unless, of course, there is a purpose (or adequate funding!).

3 - Parenting - there are websites and blogs out there with the best ideas and resources, but if they make me feel like an uncreative, boring mom, then I don't need them.

4 - Home school/Homemaker - the same goes for homeschooling and being a stay-at-home mom.  Tons of helpful resources and blogs of moms that make it work and share HOW they do it.  But man, if I read one more blog about how the mom of 8 home schools ALL her kids, while breastfeeding her cloth-diapered infant, buying ONLY organic food with coupons and always having enough energy at the end of the day for the perfect sex with her husband, all while taking the perfect photos of their family, then I am bound to feel inadequate!  (Okay, okay, I may be exaggerating a bit...see why I need to do this;)

So, nope, I'm just not going to go there.

5 - Body Image - fitness magazines.  I used to get a fitness magazine.  I loved it.  I really enjoyed the articles of the before and after fitness makeovers.  I also loved the little do-it-at-home sections with exercises laid out to do without a gym.  I can't lie and say they weren't motivating and helpful, but there were always these feelings of discontentment and a poor self-image with the body God created me to have (which is, by the way, a priority in my parenting, especially for my girls).  I mean let's face it, many of the women in those magazines genetically have the "fit" body of an athlete.  I don't see many normal to average people posing on the front cover, or the women with the ghetto bootie and large thighs that only get larger with exercise fitting into that spandex! (not that I have that issue or anything;)

So, no more lingering at the checkout while drooling over magazine covers or content.
No more reminders in my inbox of the season's must-have's and deal-breaking sales.
No more mindless surfing on the internet.
No more.

When those self-conscious thoughts or feelings of inadequacy begin to surface, I'm bouncing.

***FYI - this is not a type of fast from social media or anything.  It is just setting boundaries in areas of discontentment for me.  I may still need an idea of how to paint this hideous wood panelling in my living room, and that would be fair game for surfing around the web of creativity called Pinterest, I'm just not going to linger...too long:)***
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