Friday, April 27, 2012

Creating Margin

It's funny how priorities change over time.

A few months ago Josh read through Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll and told me it would be really good for me to read.  I began reading it on our 10-year anniversary several weeks ago and am LOVING the insight it has given me to better our marriage.  I HIGHLY recommend this book for any couple who is married or about to get married!

At the end of the book Mark and Grace put together a serious of questions to answer separately.  After you prayerfully and honestly answer all the questions by yourself, you are to come together and discuss your answers, putting together a plan for you family.

Josh and I did this on the front porch of a beach house on our anniversary get-away.  Just me and him...and Jude, but all he did was sleep and eat so he doesn't count:)

Through honest discussion and evaluation of our priorities in life and marriage and family, we realized that there are just certain things that we will refuse to budge on in order to keep our marriage exciting and our family thriving.

One of the things that is a priority for us, in this season of life for our family, is creating margin.

It's a little daunting, especially when you think about all the things that a family needs, (and each families needs are different), to set priorities.  Sometimes you get overwhelmed by all that you need to work on that you are just tempted to shut your mind off, turn on the TV, place your laptop and iPhone on your lap and check out, when the thing that you really need is some face time with your best friend!

I used to look forward to the time after the kids would go down for the night to just "relax".  But after closer evaluation I realized that so much of our evening, if not all of it, was spent sitting next to each other, but not actually engaging with each other at all.  

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes it's just nice to sit on the couch and watch TV together, especially after a long, exhausting day, but when that is what occurs every night and there is no face-to-face time with your spouse, then you are really missing out!

Now, after the kids go down, instead of looking forward to writing a deep blog post;) or checking Facebook, I look forward to this:
It may not look like anything special to you, but it has become my favorite place to be.

Laying on the trampoline with a few pillows and blankets next to my baby, my best friend, my life mate, looking up at the stars and just being together.  The phone call I missed can wait.  The blog post stirring around in my mind can wait.  The sticky footsteps on the kitchen floor will always find a way to come back.  The latest TV show certainly doesn't matter.  The emails and office work need to stop sometime...

But this time we have right now...we will NEVER get back again.

We've had nights on the trampoline where we sit in silence, pondering the news we just heard that day, or discussing our weeks plans, or talking about life and all the craziness that entails, or just cuddling under the blankets being silly:)

That time is OUR time.  It is what I look forward to now!  Besides, who wouldn't want to "cuddle" in a blanket on a trampoline under the stars on a crisp, cool spring evening with the hottest guy in town?!

And believe it or not, creating that margin in our lives for our relationship has created more margin in our everyday...

Try it.  And maybe, just maybe, you will become less interested in what everyone else is doing with THEIR time and more interested in the time God has given you, with the family He has blessed you with!
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