Monday, August 18, 2008

When Mommy Needs A Time-Out: Part 1

*I could not have read THIS POST at a better time by my friend Shannon.  You should stop right now and go read it before finishing the rest of my post. 

Zeke has got to have the worst case of the terrible two's I've ever seen (and I used to be a pre-school teacher, so I would know!!).  If you don't know us personally just go HERE to read about his stubborn tendencies.  Don't get me wrong, I love my little boy so much!!  I can't imagine what my life would be without him.  

Josh and I pray daily for our children to be convicted of their sin at an early age and realize their need for a personal relationship with Him.  We know that our children are sinners, just like us.  We also know that all children go through phases...and I have been praying every day that this phase will be over soon=)  I went on-line and ordered The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson and it can't get here quick enough!!  

Zeke's attitude and temper tantrums have been absolutely AWEFUL the past few days.  We are trying to be as consistent with him as we can but I have started to get so ANGRY and UPSET that I just have to shut the door, walk away and put MYSELF in a time-out!  I am completely serious.  I know one of the best things that I can do for him right now is be consistent, not only in my discipline but with my attitude.  I WILL NOT tolerate a sassy little boy who throws himself on the floor and flails around just because I told him to "be patient for mommy to get him his juice" or who screams at me while violently banging on the door because I told him it was "still nite-nite time".  I do know this is just another phase and that God can work on his heart even now.  "This too shall pass".  

I do love being a parent!  It's almost NEVER easy but it is surely rewarding!  So right now, as I'm picturing a future of parent/teacher meetings with the principal and juvenile court dates I continue to pray for patience to get us through these little phases and wisdom to help shepherd Zeke's little heart toward the Truth.


Amy said...

I understand this post so much as I have struggled with this with my own son. The temper tantrums and acting out are so hard for a mom.

I found a great book and system that worked for me, after failing for almost an entire year at the system I was doing (yelling, crying, battling)

Here is a link to our solution. I think it depends on the maturity of your child if this would work for you, but it seemed to work well for my son.

Shannon Bradley said...

Tasha, we are at a similar point with Luke...I have been so confused the past two weeks. Fearing that I am exasperating him, yet if I am not consistent, that he will take advantage of me and Ross!! Sometimes I feel like all morning all I have said is no, given conseqnces, he has whinned!!!, cried, attempted fits, and by the end of good intentions and discipline I am infuriated....angry....and mean...then the rest of the day I feel guily for the way I feel and act...goodness. I have heard good things about Dobsons book, and I want to check out the link that Amy sent. Anyways, it sure is good to know that I am not alone in being an imperfect Mom and that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. That would include motherhood :) Have a great day...thanks for sharing!

Amy said...

Sorry, Tasha, I saw that someone else wanted to see the link and I should have made it smaller so it is actually viewable ;)

I know it is SO hard when you are in the thick of it to find the solution you are looking for. With those chart systems, you can adapt it to fit your son and his behavior problems. We were having a bad year with getting Ethan to go to school or to bed. They tantrums at five are difficult because children can be more physical and less adaptable for guiding them to where you want them to go.

I know that you will find the solution that is right for you. Some children are born with stronger wills than others and it is typically a difficult phase that we all must go through as parents.

It does help to know that you are not alone and that you ARE an awesome mom. I remember crying when people told me that because I felt like the worst mother in the world.

((hugs)) and I apologize for hijacking your blog. Sending prayers your way!

Jennifer Hambrick said...

Hang in there Tasha! You and Josh are incredible parents and the Lord will give you the wisdom you need to deal with Zeke.

Rhonda said...

Girl, you aren't the only one. I am going through the same thing with my little guy. It's so hard to remain calm when temper tantrums and words are coming out of my 4 year old that make me upset. I have noticed though that when I am calm, it helps him settle down more. I can be calm and firm at the same time. Relying on God is so important at this time especially when our days are filled with ups and downs. Parenting is hard work yet so rewarding. Hang in there. (It's kinda nice to know I am not alone in this too.)
PS Time outs for mommies are okay ;)