tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post1579961166501324043..comments2024-03-10T12:19:40.468-04:00Comments on The Via Colony: Offensive Questions And AdoptionThe Via Colonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06683029689045969569noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-39557310307859190492013-12-08T06:59:12.093-05:002013-12-08T06:59:12.093-05:00We adopted Ella 6 yrs ago. I have often heard of t...We adopted Ella 6 yrs ago. I have often heard of this idea that we are not supposed to reveal the details of our adopted child's past. Today the question that popped into my head was, "Why is THAT topic off limits when NOTHING else about ANYONE'S past is off limits?" <br />People always ask, Where are you from? What did your dad do? How many bothers and sisters do you have? Private school? Public? <br />There is NOTHING that people are not likely to ask. So why would we hide, like we are ashamed of something, our child's history. <br />We have framed her story the best we can in the most positive light we can.<br />I only hide things I am ashamed of and Ella's story is not one of them.Bob, Becky, Ella Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15597508529695850380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-91616839766092511052011-06-30T11:44:00.874-04:002011-06-30T11:44:00.874-04:00I am no where near the season of child-rearing, bu...I am no where near the season of child-rearing, but I certainly appreciated hearing your thoughts on adoption. <br /><br />You and Josh are an inspiration because you always obey God's call on your lives. Whether that be through your ministry or through adoption, you HEAR and ACT. <br /><br />I am sure that many people will have questions but I pray that you will show them God's grace and love in your answers. I know that your daughter has been through a lot in her short life, but I am confident that she will be blessed by having you all as her adoptive family. <br /><br />Much love!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10611274100879964918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-27635391121323634432011-06-29T17:50:33.221-04:002011-06-29T17:50:33.221-04:00Great thoughts, Tasha!! I agree we want to be ope...Great thoughts, Tasha!! I agree we want to be open (not sharing every detail) but able to share and show others how awesome adoption is...just like I love sharing about the fact that I was adopted by Christ!! Thanks for writing this!Tracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06279555129359277263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-68899548013794184812011-06-29T15:24:13.133-04:002011-06-29T15:24:13.133-04:00I like this perspective. It's a good one to t...I like this perspective. It's a good one to take in. A little grace needs to be offered because sometimes "our" question or comment is well-meaning. I'm learning a lot from my friends who have adopted, but for some it's brand new. <br /> <br />Thanks for sharing!<br />KatieThe Martinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10657969577529643651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-32536081763426436322011-06-29T13:48:55.889-04:002011-06-29T13:48:55.889-04:00Lori, I totally agree. That's why I said I su...Lori, I totally agree. That's why I said I surely wouldn't tell about my daughter's past or her about her birth family or anything to that nature. But I also wouldn't disregard the fact that she is from a different country and culture. I wouldn't tell her birth mother's whereabouts either.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing from your experience. I do agree that our children's past is THEIR past.<br /><br />But their adoption is OUR story to share in hopes of being a shining light and spreading awareness of the process as a whole.The Via Colonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06683029689045969569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-45373280904704853582011-06-29T13:41:53.581-04:002011-06-29T13:41:53.581-04:00I have always held my child's story sacred. W...I have always held my child's story sacred. When anyone asked "where is her mother?" I said, "Well here I am..." That usually sets the course in a different direction. <br /><br />I didn't do this with my first adoption and I have deep regrets as my child enters her teens.<br /><br />People are well meaning but our children's pasts are their own, it is all they have, it is usually tragic. For some children it is all they can cling to when they get older. When we open their lives like a book, they have nothing to hold fast to, nothing special and that is theirs personally. When it becomes time, she can share that story with whom she wants to, or not.<br /><br />My daughter is obviously not birthed from my husband and I but I usually tell people the surrounding story but not any personal details.<br /><br />I share so much about adoption and the process and what we went through and the beautiful culture and the harsh things as well, but my daughter's story, that is ours as a family and for her physician.<br /><br />People don't need these things that keep the privacy of my child secure. <br /><br />They do need to know about adoption of course and I gladly share all about that always.Lorinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8734646428701561816.post-68070337131328279892011-06-29T12:21:36.282-04:002011-06-29T12:21:36.282-04:00Agreed! We are in the same boat and will most like...Agreed! We are in the same boat and will most likely be getting a mixed race child through our adoption. I can't wait and I can't wait for the questions!Joel Ainsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06952729263470912140noreply@blogger.com